Lipstick Jungle

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Mollie: C | Grade It Now!
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Bombay Dreams

Wendy arrives at Victory's, but stops to check her ringing phone before she gets a look at the dress design. Victory asks if the call (or text or whatever it was) came from Nico, and Wendy says no, but they go on to talk about Nico anyway. Victory says that she feels too "weird" about the whole situation to talk to Nico at all, and she doesn't know how she'll be able to face Charles. It freaks Victory out to think about how Nico stands to lose everything. "She can't lose us too," Wendy resolves. Finally, the dress is unveiled -- we don't see it, but Wendy does, and now it's her turn to be freaked out. Bo-oing! (In this case, for extra comic effect, you should imagine the sound of a sitar string breaking instead of a tympani hit.)

Kirby is at a bar, sloppily pouring shots, when Nico drops in to see him. He works there now, you see, and he's bitter about this change in career. Nico has come to talk sense into him, but he's not concerned about the repercussions of the lawsuit. Finally, Nico deduces that Mike told Kirby that Nico was a serial dater and dumper of underlings, leaving Kirby feeling used and vindictive. Nico is shocked that Kirby trusts the obviously slimy Mike Harness's word against hers. Kirby doesn't have an answer for that, and anyway, his boss yells at him to get back to work at just that point. Kirby asks Nico to leave, muttering, "I seem to lose jobs when you're around." Poor baby.

Another ad break begins with...another teaser for the rest of the show! Just like on Wife Swap! Followed by another of those stupid ads where the Maybelline guy tells you how to get Victory's look. Let me guess: by using Maybelline products?

In Victory's kitchen workroom, Chloe tries on her dress. "This looks different from the last fitting," she sulks. "It's not as sexy." That explains the juvenile jacket over the bodice. I like the dress, though. I even like the orange-on-orange patterned fabric. The only problem is that it looks awful on this particular actress. Her skin and hair are about six shades too light for that color, and I know she's not in her red-carpet makeup now, but still, the contrast with her lipstick is making me queasy. I'm beginning to wonder whether Victory is supposed to be a terrible designer. Is that the point? Because if not, the casting, makeup, and wardrobe people on this show really need to talk to each other. "Whatever," Chloe moans, "nothing looks good on me right now!" Well, nothing pale orange, anyway. Chloe asks for the bathroom (I guess she needs to "check on the specials"), and when she's gone, Roy asks what Chloe's so irritable about. Victory explains that Chloe and Deegan have just broken up, and Chloe thinks Deegan may have been cheating. Roy also asks what happened to the dress, and Victory gripes that Wendy thought the original design was "too revealing." Methinks Wendy may not be the person you want planning your red-carpet premiere after all! Roy reminds Victory that she, not Wendy, is the designer here. You'd think Vic would have figured out by now that she ought to listen to Roy. He leaves, and Chloe stomps back into the kitchen, distraught because she just got a call from Deegan. Now she's threatening to skip the premiere. Victory naturally advises her not to do this; she tries explaining that "the best revenge is showing up and looking fabulous," but Chloe's not looking for revenge; she wants to reconcile. So Victory orders her to call Deegan back and hear him out. "Sometimes what you don't say ends up hurting you more than what you do," says Victory, trying feebly to make a connection between Chloe's celebrity relationship and Nico's marital issues. Chloe turns back to the mirror and frowns at her reflection, tugging at the front of the dress and whining, "Can't we just show a little more?" Victory lies that the look is perfect just as it is, insisting, "The jacket really makes it." Way to chicken out, Victory.

At the office, Wendy gets some last-minute party updates from Josh. He fills her in about the Chloe-Deegan split, and also informs her that there's a problem with the gift bags that could lead to a PETA protest. Wendy tells him to "gather the interns" and fix the gift bags. He protests, "We don't have interns!" Please. This is Manhattan! Hot-dog carts have interns! Wendy retorts, "Well, then, you'll have to use both hands." Nobody in the scene responds, so I'll have to do it myself: that's what she said!

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Lipstick Jungle

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