Lipstick Jungle

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Mollie: C | Grade It Now!
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Bombay Dreams

Wendy, in her own silvery eveningwear, is on the phone with Victory getting a Chloe-drunkenness update. Victory is wearing a funky purple dress that would look far better on Chloe -- they should switch. Not that it matters, since Wendy wants Victory to bring drunk Chloe into the premiere through the side entrance, skipping the potential for humiliation on the red carpet. Naturally, Victory is not a fan of this idea. Wendy, losing patience, begs Victory to do as she's told, which is another thing Victory doesn't like.

Everyone brings his or her issues to the premiere party. Charles jokes that he depends on Nico to keep an eye on what he's eating, so that he doesn't end up with heartburn like he has now. Nico just looks at him with sad eyes. She is cheered (and puzzled) by the approach of Hector, bearing news that Kirby has dropped the charges against her. (They have this conversation out of Charles's earshot, of course.) Hector muses about what Kirby's motivations might have been, and Nico wisely remains silent and maintains her poker face until Hector tells her to enjoy the party and moves on. When Nico returns to Charles, he announces his intention to leave early -- that darn heartburn! -- but insists that Nico stay to support Wendy. Nico is in too good a mood to be very suspicious.

Hector's next stop is Wendy, to congratulate her on the "smashing party." Wendy is trying to convince him that the box office will benefit when Josh -- dressed as though he thought this was a costume party and came as a 1950s country singer -- starts tugging at her elbow. Wendy excuses herself, and Josh points her toward the red carpet, where Victory and Chloe are sitting in a limo. Chloe, drunk as a skunk (but now in the cheerful stage), is set to humiliate herself in front of the press, and Wendy is set on preventing exactly that. She instructs the driver to pull around to the side, but he's blocked in and can't comply. Then, for some reason, he gets out of the car. Wendy squeezes herself into the back seat and begins to chew Victory out, so Victory yells back that Wendy doesn't respect her opinion: "I am tired of being talked down to like I'm the baby sister!" Oh, come on, Vic, you're not the baby sister. You're more like the slutty roommate. The girls take their fight outside the car and onto the red carpet, where it could provide lots more tabloid fodder than Wendy's two-second crying jag outside Janice Lasher's office. But the paparazzi turn their attention to Deegan, Chloe's ex, who has just stepped onto the carpet with his new gal pal. Chloe sticks her head out the window and spots Deegan, which sends her into a rage. Wendy hardly notices, because she's busy preparing her winning play for the Most Contrived Attempt to Link Episode Plotlines Award: "Forgive me if I can't trust everyone to do the right thing right now," she snaps. "There are a few people in my life that are paying big-time for making some really stupid decisions." Even Victory finds that line ridiculous, and says so. Neither one realizes that Chloe has taken the wheel of the limo until it lurches out of its space, smashing into several other vehicles as Chloe tries to aim it toward Deegan on the runway. (You may recall this scene from the episode's many promos, including the ones that aired within the last half-hour.) A collision with a passing taxi ends Chloe's adventure. Unhurt, and possibly sobered up, she lowers her forehead to the steering wheel as the photographers surround the car.

After the ads (which include a commercial for one of those horrifying direct-to-DVD "movies" "starring" "Barbie" -- are six-year-old girls watching this show?!), Wendy's at the jail with wayward Chloe, who's looking more like Courtney Love every minute. Wendy is on her cell phone, complaining to Sal that Chloe might be charged with DUI, which Wendy seems to feel is too severe. I know -- I mean, she only almost killed a few people, and most of them were photographers anyway! Josh calls, so Wendy answers her other line to ask how the premiere went. Josh, still in that ridiculous bolo tie, is too caught up in the afterparty to provide a satisfying answer. Sal, who's back at Parador coordinating emergency PR efforts, is excited about the publicity this whole disaster might bring to the film. Wendy is less cheerful.

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Lipstick Jungle

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