Lipstick Jungle

Episode Report Card
Mollie: D+ | Grade It Now!
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Highland Fling

Back in Scotland, Wendy is hanging out in the hotel lobby, and Kirby is walking through that same lobby, holding his cell phone and yelling that he can't hear whoever is trying to call him. A waiter approaches Wendy and she decides to order a scotch, and we're treated to another mystifying, supposed-to-be-funny exchange between Wendy and a cranky, supposed-to-sound-authentic Scottish person. I'm afraid it bombs on both fronts. Fortunately, Kirby is here to save the day with his cute smile. He sits down across from Wendy and asks what brings her to Scotland. "Work. How about you?" she says. Kirby answers, "A beautiful woman. In fact, I'm waiting for her now." Wendy replies that it just so happens she's waiting for a beautiful woman, too! They laugh politely. Then Nico comes into view, and they both rise to greet her, and, well, it's awkward for everyone. (There has been a lot of palpable awkwardness in this episode, but in this case it's intentional.) After making introductions, Nico sends Kirby off to the bar. Wendy is furious that she spent that whole plane ride wondering why Nico wasn't happy to see her. I think I'm on Wendy's side here. She doesn't even mention the many days of lying that preceded this trip. She does bring up that job she got for Kirby, which Nico let her believe was a long-distance favor just to settle their accounts -- a way of saying "good-bye and good luck," as angry Wendy puts it. Wendy starts to make an angry exit, but Kirby returns with drinks for everyone, so she stays, and we cut to commercial. Talk about a fun cocktail party.

Joe comes home to find Victory in her new dollhouse, lining up her shoes. She seems to have gotten over her disappointment about the separate bedrooms. It turns out Joe missed dinner because of a "late meeting" and didn't bother to let her know, but Victory lets that slide, and she only pouts a little when he says he now has to go return some calls. He makes a date with her for tomorrow night: the art auction, followed by a black-tie dinner. Victory agrees, and Joe starts to walk away, but then she pulls him back and they make out in a manner I can only describe as "violent." I don't get these two at all.

Things are still awkward in the Scottish hotel bar, where we rejoin the non-conversation in action. Kirby tries to make small talk, asking about Wendy's kids. "Teenagers are a handful, huh?" he says amiably. "I'm sure you can relate," Wendy snipes. She can't help herself. She sees Nico and Kirby exchange hopeless looks and apologizes. Kirby tries to make things better by telling Wendy how glad he is to finally meet her, and by thanking her for the job. It doesn't work. There's not enough cuteness in Kirby's face, or beer in Wendy's pint glass, to make this conversation endurable for Wendy. She excuses herself, saying she's "suddenly very tired," and heads to her room. Kirby makes mournful eyes at Nico.

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Lipstick Jungle

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