Lipstick Jungle

Episode Report Card
Mollie: C- | Grade It Now!
Mean To Me

Wendy can't figure out how Mariska could have written any novel, let alone this one: "She's a gentle, sweet soul! She wouldn't kill a cockroach!" "So why'd you fire her?" Sal asks. Wendy: "She wouldn't kill a cockroach." Heh. Well played, show. I'll give you that. Sal just wants to know whether they should sue. He hasn't heard of the agent, one "Freddy Divola," who represents Mariska; he thinks the agency's real reason for sending the manuscript was to bargain for a big severance package. Wendy feigns nonchalance, tossing the manuscript on the floor, and tells Sal that they need to prep for their meeting with Hector (Hector again!). Sal leaves. Once he's gone, Wendy picks up the manuscript and thumbs through it, of course.

Nico's office. Patty Blume, the rough-around-the-edges photographer assigned to the Prince William shoot, enters and introduces her assistant: "Kirby Atwood, Nico Reilly." (Ooh, shout-out, she said my last name! Sort of!) Nico takes one look at Kirby and instantly flashes back to her hot, adulterous, pantyhose-tearing encounter with him in last week's episode. He grins at her. Awk-ward!

Are we just getting to the opening credits now? God, this is going to be a long hour.

Back at Nico's office after the credits, Patty is suggesting steamier photo-shoot ideas, while Kirby distracts Nico with his steamy appraising stare. Patty catches Kirby smirking and thinks he's amused by her brainstorming. "See, the young ones like that," she says. "I mean, that's who you're out to bag, right?" Guilty Nico responds with a double-take. There's no comical tympani "bo-oing!" sound effect to go with it, but your brain can fill it in.

Meanwhile, at Victory's, the designer and her selfless assistant get teary all over again at the thought of parting ways. Sniffle. Then Victory leaves to get some lunch, and Reese drops the sweetness-and-light act and grabs a nearby sketchpad. She tears out a few pages of design sketches that I'm guessing are supposed to be brilliant, even though they look like the result of many hours spent playing with a vintage set of Tomy Fashion Plates. (Has there ever been a better use for black crayons?)

Patty leaves Nico's office, promising to have a new proposal together "by 3." "Nice meeting you," Nico says pointedly as Kirby follows Patty out. Then Nico shuts the door and leans against it, the way weak-kneed women do, and indulges in another sex-with-Kirby flashback, this one even hotter than the last. Her reverie is interrupted when real-life Kirby returns. Nico launches into a speech about how she's married and their tryst was a one-time thing, and bemused Kirby tells her he just came back to get his notebook. Bo-oing! Again!

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Lipstick Jungle




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