Lipstick Jungle

Episode Report Card
Erin: D | Grade It Now!
Things Can Only Get Better

Soft girly-love music plays as we skip forward ten minutes and there's a knock at the door. Victory is all packed and ready to go. She tells the knocker to come in and it's Hichiro. "Mr. Bennett's jet is waiting," he says, bowing, and revealing that he's brought along a pink cupcake for her to gnaw on. Victory gathers up all her things and the next thing we know, she's exiting Bennett's plane and he's on the tarmac waiting for her. She walks up to him and tells him that she hates all of this. She hates that he sent a jet for her, she hates that she liked riding in it so much, she hates his smug attitude, and she hates that he thinks he's a hero just because he had his assistant call for the jet. "Actually, I called for it myself," he says. She narrows her eyes at him and he tells her that he could've waited in the damn car instead of on the tarmac and he doesn't freeze his ass off for anybody. And then he kisses her. She kisses back, but interrupts it to tell him that she doesn't like being rescued and he just tells her to chill and calls his driver to bring the car around.

Later that night, the girls gather on Victory's balcony. Victory brings the champagne and Wendy and Nico bring the sour faces. Nico tells Victory that Shane and Wendy are going through a rough patch and Wendy gets teary as she worries that her marriage has become something less than solid. She feels like a loser. Nico tells her she's not a loser and that she's gorgeous and smart and funny and that she deserves to be loved because of those things, not in spite of them. They all hug in that way that women NEVER do as Victory assures her that things will get better. "And if they don't..." Nico steps in. "We'll move to the woods and make moccasins." Is that the only option? Victory passes out the champagne and insists that they all get slobbered together so they should drink up. "I lost my virginity in moccasins," says Wendy as she slams back a healthy slug. Nico chokes on hers and giggles. "You remember what shoes you wore?" "It was the most memorable thing about it," Wendy deadpans. Everyone laughs and hugs and drinks and oh their life is so fabulous yet real yet sad yet mine!

Except not.

Excuse me while I take Candace Bushnell out back and strap her to the hood of a Honda and drive off in a hailstorm.

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Lipstick Jungle




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