The stress of writing about this and I Love Money finally pushed poor Lady Lola over the edge. She's been place in a safe place, free to reality TV for a cleansing treatment. I avoided writing this recap for as long as possible, but since it appears to be the season (and if there is a god, series) finale, I finally sucked it up and delved back into the world of Ali and Dina Lohan. A scary, terrifying place I swore I'd never return to. However, since the slimy Jeremy is no longer in the picture, maybe it won't be so bad.
Michael and his girlfriend Nina are in the house, walking around their bedroom all freshly showered. Nina is griping about the fact that the "kids" slept in their bed last night and wants to do something without the rugrats around. Oh Nina, run away now. Those kids are clinging to their brother like he's the last sane person who can help them escape from the insanity that is life as a Lohan. Michael says, "What you don't want to hang out with 'the Code'?" Which Cody overhears and responds to by shooting Nina with his ginormous water gun. Seriously, it is bigger than him. The things parents will buy their kids to keep them happy.
Cody continues his shooting spree, chasing Nina all around the house (this must be his soccer substitute for this episode). Then when Michael tells him to knock it off, he just starts squirting at nothing. Ack, the hardwood floors. My mother would have grounded my ass. Cody just laughs and laughs. Then he tells Nina that she should go home. Then a pillow fight ensues. This is officially the stupidest show ever.
Some random amount of time later Michael bellows to Ali to come into his room. He and Nina and their little dog are sitting on the bed. Ali does this weird bounce giggle thing in her teeny tiny cutoff shorts. Michael and Nina say that they want some alone time to see a movie and can Ali please, for the love of god, keep Cody out of their hair. Ali doesn't get this and asks why they can't stay around the house. Because hanging around getting shot at with water by Cody and listening to Ali whine is what every college kid wants to do when they are home on break... with their girlfriend.
Michael, who looks stoned (or just emotionally exhausted by his family... you make the call), says that he's torn between hanging out with his family and hanging out with Nina. Ali says they should sneak out so Cody doesn't see them. They all agree that Cody is going to freak out. Really? Isn't he old enough to get this by now? Ali makes excuses saying that he gets upset because he doesn't get to see his brother/only male role model that often.