Living Lohan

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In the Grand(ma) Scheme of Things

Back at LoHouse, Nina arrives for the romantic dinner with her beau, which would be a heck of a lot more romantic if said beau actually knew it was happening. He heads downstairs, and the dinner gets going. Nina takes a swig of what I hope is wine, but I suspect is actually cranberry juice. Sucks for her. Michael feigns apologizing for about a 90 seconds but ultimately implies that Nina wasn't understanding enough of his family's demands. Nina eventually forfeits, further feeding the prima donna behavior his family so persistently encourages. But, all for the best, I suppose, because they make up, agree not to have any more stupid fights, and do all sorts of cutesy hand holding shtick. I give 'em six months. Maybe a year since they were smart enough to give Ali and Cody's chicken to the dogs.

Later, Ali and Cody come downstairs to see how their devious little plan turned out. Michael and Nina pretend they ate the chicken, but Ali catches on. Rambunctious behavior ensues. The kids try to bust their way into Michael's locked room, then high five each other for saving the day. You see, they're all-American! Just a normal family! It's like a scene out of, say... The Parent Trap. Wait just one flippin' minute. Could this be set up? Say it ain't so.

The next day, Ali and Dina-saur sit in the kitchen and plot to bring Nana to Vegas. I'm bored with this plotline. Let's talk about Ali's clothes! She is wearing a leopard print kimono and about 73 pounds of makeup. It all adds up to a look that screams bordello maven. Okay, we can go back to regularly scheduled programming because Nana's home! She shows up with a tribute portrait of her late husband. Dina-saur VOs about her parents' 50-year marriage and how they were there for her during her divorce. In an interview, Nana admits that she's less motivated to go on trips now that her husband is gone.

All the LoHos hang out in the kitchen reminiscing about Pop Pop. Even little Cody pulls out Pop Pop's mass card, which he wears in his shin guard during games. Nana tears up while reading the card, and Cody gives her a consolation hug. She interviews that it's only getting harder to live without her partner as time passes. Poor Nana! Dina-saur finally realizes she should stop pushing Nana to go to Vegas.

Later, Michael and Nina leave LoHouse. As a lark, Cody jumps on the car hood as Michael pulls away. Dina-saur brings out the bitch face as she reprimands him, then turns her wrath to Michael and Nina. Just an everyday, American family, kids! The episode ends with a dedication to "A Beautiful Life: John L. Sullivan, 1924-2004."

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Living Lohan

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