Ty finds Dina and fills her in on the sitch. Says Cody's called crying three times. Dina needs to clean out her fucking voice mail box, or have a separate phone for kid emergencies or something, because if it took three phone calls before your driver/bodyguard came to find you when your kids are in big trouble, your system is not working Miss Long Island "Super Mom." Then she doesn't even rush home. Unbelievable. She does call home. Ali says it's all good, the wall was just burning (oh, is that it?). Useless cousin/babysitter stares blankly. Dina looks sad, like someone just harshed her party mellow.

Once Dina arrives back at the house (and I would have fucking loved to see the time stamp on these tapes) she THs that she's so proud of her kids for handling it so that she didn't have to rush home. And yay, they knew how to dial 911! But it just figures that the one night she goes out something like this happens. Direct quote here: "Imagine if the tabloids got a hold of this story. They would just rip me to shreds." Imagine that. Imagine that you are telling this to an actual TV camera, and this is going to end up being broadcast to the world (or at least the 20 people in the world stuck watching this crap for work purposes), then just imagine what would happen. Would the press have a field day with it, or will they have been bored to tears by the old people dancing and the "arguments" with Jeremy that they wouldn't have made it this far into the episode? Maybe that's her master plan. She truly is an evil genius. I think I may have underestimated her skill at burying the lead of the story.

Lights out. Then sunny beach shots. Then Dina tells Alexis all about how she was out at her party when there was a fire at home. Alexis gets to see the wall...which was "fixed" by putting a couch in front of it. The electrician, who the fire department advised the Lohans to get ASAP, is coming eventually, but hasn't gotten there. Idiot savant Jeremy is getting the scoop from Ali and wonders if it is safe to leave live wires exposed. Could he be an electrician as well as a musician, producer and babysitter? He tells Ali not to touch the wires. She of course touches it, after telling the cameramen how she trusts him a little more now, but the only people you can really trust is your family. The family that leaves live wires exposed in the living room.