More New Age-y music and time-lapse photography as the sun sets and then rises and I think Day 3 must have been a pretty big bust in terms of anything interesting happening.
Day 4, 19°, though, holds the promise of an axe-toss competition among four new men, because what better way to demonstrate what great husband material you are than HOW WELL YOU CAN THROW AN AXE AT SOMETHING -- I mean, hold a tampon-buying competition or a picking-up-wet- towels-off- the-floor competition or some other skill that women might find a little more useful in their mates.
As the couples all stand together, Santagati explains to the men that the challengers are here to try to take "your ladies" away, and so much for giving the women the power, I guess.
Brent says that he was nervous, and he does seem genuinely anxious as he describes not knowing what the new dudes were going to be like and whether Sissie might like one of them better. Santagati (two-handed finger-point): "Now it's time to meet our four new men!" I don't know if this means anything, but so far Santagati seems most excited whenever more men are introduced. Draw your own conclusions.
The Parade O' Losers starts: out comes this guy wearing a red hoodie (in Saskatchewan, they're called "bunny hugs," I swear to god ["I can confirm that." -- Wing Chun]) with the hood pulled up and "Lynx" with a paw print on the breast. He's also wearing these yellow glasses that made me think England lost a Chemical Brother. This is Thaddeus, twenty-eight, a commercial diver. Never married. 5'8". Blue eyes. His hobbies are swimming and hiking, and over a weird slow-motion clip of him swaggering around, he says his ideal wife would be athletic with blonde hair and blue eyes and be "a rock 'n' roll chick. She would just be so cool!" he says, before giggling like a teenage girl with a new copy of Tiger Beat.
Out comes Jack: dark-haired, thirty-four, office environment consultant, whatever that is. Divorced, with a nine-year-old son. 5'11", brown eyes, hobby is bodybuilding. Jack's not as popular in the forums as I thought he would be, since he seems like a good-looking guy to me. Maybe it was his blah blahing about believing in the concept of soulmates that did him in; as a guy who has done plenty of his own blah blahing in the hopes of impressing women, it's been my experience that "soulmate" is one of those phrases we use if we think the woman wants to hear it. Like, "Yeah, I love cats."
Next up, the cowboy-hatted, ponytailed, goateed Troy, thirty-seven, who says he works for the federal government at Somewhere Air Force Base (helpfully and hilariously shortened to "mechanic" on the on-screen graphic). He has a nine-year-old son (and who the hell are these guys having all these kids with, anyway, if there are no women up there? ["Maybe they have the kids in another state and move to Alaska to nurse their broken hearts and also ice-climb?" -- Wing Chun]). He's 5'11" with blue eyes, and his hobby is truck racing. I have no joke here. He goes on about believing in "love at first sight," and between this and Jack's "soulmate" nonsense I can't help thinking that while the challengers were waiting for their competition, someone passed around a Maxim so they could read an article entitled "Sensitive stuff to say to make chicks want to do it with you."