Looking for Love
Come In From The Cold

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Ice, Ice Babies

Day 5. 10 AM. Rebekah's cabin. Karen's hanging out. What's with all the other women congregating at Rebekah's cabin? It's like they're latching on to the popular girl. Rebekah -- in black pants and a black bra -- is slathering on deodorant. There's a knock on the door. The women ask who it is; it's Troy. "Tell him I'm dressing," whispers Rebekah all conspiratorially, even though that appears to be exactly what she's doing. Karen dutifully goes to the door and does as Rebekah told her. Troy just came to drop off a journal for Rebekah so that she can keep track of her Alaskan memories. "Aww, that's so sweet!" squeals Karen, who might want to stop acting like she's in junior high. She takes the journal to Karen, singing, "You're getting a plea." They both go "Awwwww" and I almost have an aneurysm. Rebekah reads the inscription: "This little gift is so you'll remember me along with all the other great things about Alaska: Troy, Troy, Troy, Troy, Troy, Troy, Troy." And THEY BOTH GO "AWWWWW" again and maybe these women aren't married because they behave like they're about twelve years old, like maybe R. Kelly should be a Man on Ice; then you'd see some action. Commercials, thank God.

Rebekah says something about all the guys being nice but I couldn't hear because my ears are still filled with my own blood after my eardrums ruptured during that last "awwww!"

5:30 PM. Amazing shot of mountains rising over the clouds. The men and women trudge up to Proposal Point, the women in their costumes left over from From Russia with Love. Cut to Jim saying he thinks Rebekah will pick him because he's a man of confidence. I wasn't sure if he meant he thinks Rebekah likes confident guys, or that it's his confidence that leads him to think she'll choose him. Kurt explains that this is the last chance because either each guy will leave with his girl, or get sent home in yet another useless clip that doesn't add anything, just tells us something we already know.

7 PM. Santagati welcomes them all. When it was 5:30, you could see them arriving. They've been sitting there for an hour and a half just so they could shoot this in darkness for effect? Santagati explains again that this is where the women choose "who gets to stay in play and who gets sent away," and what a crappy variation on "voted off the island" that is. Santagati lists the original men on ice and then overdubbed AGAIN says, "These are the men you originally chose on the glacier," I guess for the benefit of anybody who might be confused, but it would behoove FOX to remember that the viewers of these shows are not as dumb as the contestants are. Then Santagati explains that each challenger will now make a plea to the woman of his choice, but I guess "the woman of [his] choice" wasn't clear enough because once again Santagati is dubbed in, explaining that each challenger can make a plea to any woman, even if he didn't go out on a date with her. The Men on Ice don't make a plea; they have to wait and watch. Kristian is making his "who farted?" face. Finally, Santagati says whomever a challenger chooses to make a plea to will get $2,000 in her dowry.

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Looking for Love

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