Looking for Love
Come In From The Cold

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Ice, Ice Babies

Right in the middle of this scene, Santagati explains that this Matanuska glacier is one of the most picturesque spots in the world. He adds, "And over here's another nice view. These are the men of Alaska." And these so-called men start going "woohoo!" and lifting their arms and generally acting like idiots. Santagati helpfully explains that all these guys are single and, just like the women, ready to get married. "So whyn't you go over and take a look," he says, like he can't even worry about proper enunciation when he's too busy doing his two-handed sweeping finger-point thing again, like that's his signature move or something.

So the women fan out among the men, and we see an interview with Sissie saying that she was thinking, "Let the games begin!" and she rubs her hands in a feeble effort to convince herself she's running the show. Cut back to her and Rebekah high-fiving each other awkwardly, like, they should leave off with the high-fiving already. Cecile looks cute in her snowsuit, but we only see her briefly before we cut to Rebekah already strutting around, saying, "Decisions, decisions, decisions! Who is first?" and I'd just like to refer back to her interview at the top of the show and point out that she just said "first" and not "one and only" like she did before. Cut back to a fireside interview with Rebekah, where she is still shimmying and has made her hands into a gun and is STILL going, "Which one's gonna be first. Oh, yeah, that was fun." Shut up, Rebekah.

Then, despite Santagati's instructions, the bachelorettes start talking to the men, asking them their names. Andrea orders one guy to take off his sunglasses, which he does. And in her flashback interview, she explains that when he did as he was told, she started to feel like she was in charge, capping this off with the nervous giggle masking deep desperation, perhaps because inside she knows that making a lonely loser on a FOX "reality" show take off his sunglasses doesn't exactly bust women through the global glass ceiling.

The women all gather again, and Santagati tells them to stake their claim, starting with Karen. She picks up some stick/stake...thing, and stabs it into the ground near a dude named Kurt; then we get a voice-over and a pop-up graphic letting us know that Kurt is twenty-nine, and a "rock 'n' roll roadie" (in Alaska?). He's 5'11", has blue eyes, and his hobbies are snowboarding and music. "Love at first sight hasn't happened to me per se, but I think it's totally possible." Totally, dude. We see the two of them standing together and you realize that if Kurt is 5'11", then Karen's tiny, like, she looks about four and a half feet tall. In an interview, Karen explains why she chose Kurt; the first words out of her mouth are "He looked like a young guy" and you're thinking, "Uh, that's kind of weird" and then she says, "He looked casual" and you're starting to think something is wrong with her, and finally she stammers out something about how he looks like he'd be some fun, which sounds more like a valid reason than her apparent predilection for "young, casual" guys.

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Looking for Love

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