For the first time going to commercials, we watch "coming up" scenes of the women trying on tiaras and wedding dresses. Santagati says "moment of truth" and something about a day they've waited for "their entire lives." We see Rebekah try on a tiara and her voice-over says, "I feel like a princess," but you know that she could have said that at any time during the three weeks covered by this show.
Commercials. Annoying Captain Morgan commercial that continues to promote and legitimize boorish behaviour of guys whose sole reading material is Maxim. Also, Goldmember. Is that Fred Savage? What is he, forty years old now? I guess he was available. That Taco Bell Iron Chef ripoff commercial bugs me no end -- at least it did until it was followed up with a commercial starring Carrot Top, which really needs to be outlawed. Oh, great. My old friend Felicity Huffman from Sports Night is in that new David E. Kelley presumed crapfest Girls Club. Of course, I'm now recapping Bachelorettes, so I guess I shouldn't talk.
Day 23. Marriage proposals at Promise Lake, which is where the women arrived on the first episode, back when I was a much younger, happier man. Karen, wearing her wedding dress (I guess FOX lied about those scenes of the women trying on the dresses that were supposedly coming up) is hiking up to Promise Lake, where Santagati awaits. He's wearing an ugly fur coat that men haven't worn since football games in the 1920s. "Karen, your Alaskan adventure ends here," he tells her, very solemnly. He reminds her that, "several weeks ago," she arrived by float plane looking for a husband. Then it's clips of Karen's Greatest Hits, as we watch her hanging with Kurt. We get that hilarious clip where Karen laughs and says, "Kurt's a hottie. He's got a really nice body" and then adds that, "In addition to that, he's really smart and really funny" that I guarantee was added much later. More clips of Karen and Kurt hanging out, riding on the dogsled. Has LMNO Productions ever done a television show before? Because we're getting what amounts to a clip show for the series finale. As Santagati goes over the list of the men she dated (Dorky Earmuffs, Michael, Doug, and Brad) and the plea she received (one lousy plea from Bob for having blonde hair). Then we even get a clip from the TOP OF THIS EPISODE of her rejecting Mike, her backup Man on Ice. We see a hilarious pop-up graphic that lets us know she wasn't picked first for any dates and received just one plea -- her dowry sits at $8,000. Santagati explains that a float plane will soon be arriving, bringing Kurt if he's chosen to propose. "If the pilot's the only one on board, then your romantic journey is over, and you're free to go home...alone," he says, brow furrowed appropriately. So...if Kurt does show up, she's not free to go home alone?