Looking for Love

Episode Report Card
808 USERS: C+
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Here Comes Your Man

Next up, a five-minute wait as we watch the float plane flying, shots of Karen waiting, flying, waiting, flying, waiting. I can't believe how boring this is. Then I realized we were going to have to do it four more times with the other Bachelorettes. Waiting, flying, waiting. Sped-up footage of clouds moving over the mountain and smoke rising from the fire. Finally, the plane arrives and swoops past Karen, before curling around and landing, with Karen trying to see if Kurt's on board. I assume the plane circled around to reduce its speed before landing, but including the clips of it doing so was intended to heighten the tension. Needless to say, it failed.

The pilot gets out and...the plane's interior camera shows an empty backseat as the synthesizers warble out a mournful bass note. Santagati comes back out and gestures to the plane: "Karen, there's no one on that plane. Kurt isn't coming. You're free to go home, alone." Karen pastes on a smile, hikes up her dress, and hoofs it over to the plane.

In a "video farewell," Kurt burbles on about how fortunate he is to have met Karen. The word "connection" comes up. We watch Karen sitting in the plane as what sounds like a tacked-on voice-over of Kurt saying, "But I can't make any commitments for the future --" and it sounds like he wasn't finished speaking, but that's all we hear. See ya, Karen. Don't be a stranger. Commercials.

Now it's Andrea's turn to hike awkwardly up to Promise Lake, where Santagati walks her down memory lane, reminiscing about her sticking with Kristian through thick and thin, even after he told her he doesn't see them developing a long-term relationship. We're shown clips of Andrea dating Thaddeus, New Tim, and Mike, but Santagati reminds her that she found none of them to be "marriage material." Then we get a whole lot more of the whole Patrick saga, and I don't know why they spend so much time on this, since we know she chooses Kristian in the end. And then we pretend that Andrea had some major connection with Keith, when in reality he only made a plea to her since he figured at the time she was the Bachelorette most likely to ditch her current Man on Ice. In the end, she picked Keith as her second Man on Ice, since he didn't pose a threat to Kristian, or something, according to Santagati. "In the end, you only had eyes for Kristian," he says, as the pop-up graphic reminds us that Andrea was never picked first for dates and received two pleas. Her dowry stands at $10,000. Santagati tells her a float plane is on its way, and "hopefully" Kristian is on it. Santagati gives her the stupid "you're free to go home...alone" line again and walks off. Waiting. Waiting. Waiting. A full thirty seconds of Andrea just standing there. Here comes the plane! It does the whole fly-by/sweep around/landing thing. Andrea can't even work up a smile; it's like she's expecting an empty plane.

Looking for Love

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