First up, Andrea. She calls Keith "amazing," like, here's a new drinking game for everyone. Oh, and also they made a "connection." But she says because of the "history" she has with Kristian and the "feelings" they've "kind of developed," she's going to stick with him. Uh, Andrea? Two weeks is not a "history." I have more of a history with the girl at the Pita Pit downtown. And Kristian does not have feelings for you. He has told you so. He has told the interviewer so. Most recently, he told the entire group so. If you're enjoying the sex, there's nothing wrong with that, but quit deluding yourself that you and Kristian see this relationship in the same light, especially as Kristian actually looks crestfallen when you keep him.

Rebekah's choice. She's had an "amazing" time with the other guys, but she's picking Jason because of their "connection." Quick, someone please airlift a fucking thesaurus to Alaska right away.

Cecile's turn. She doesn't even soften the blow for Tim with the usual "we had a great time blah blah blah but...." She just starts in: "Tim, I'm going to have to let you go," and then starts expounding on the Many Advantages of Will. She says she was scared by Tim's "drinking out of your shoe" comment. New Tim can't keep himself from laughing at that and says he didn't know he caught her "off-guard" with that: "I guess we drink out of each other's shoes in my circle more frequently than yours." Priceless look of incomprehension on Cecile's face.

Karen or Sissie choosing someone else? Not a chance. "Brent and Kurt, please join your ladies," says Santagati, who is still saying they have another week to get to know each other. I can not figure out any valid reason why they would purposely keep drawing attention to this nonsense. Not one.

Santagati banishes the rejects and congratulates the new couple -- Cecile and Will -- and then the voice-over gives the "another week" comment AGAIN and I'm starting to think they're doing it purposely to get on my nerves. Pathetic Andrea makes doe eyes at Kristian. Because of, you know, their history. And their feelings.

Next week: all the rejected men return, like Jack and Jeff and Old Tim. If you read anything in the newspaper the following day about an unsolved killing spree in Moose Jaw, please don't turn me in.