Opening sequence, which will haunt me until I draw my last breath. Just before my eyes start bleeding, I can still make out Rebekah's pod-person "yeah" when Santagati asks if they're ready to meet the new men.
Last week: "Rebekah used her feminine charms on Jason." We get the life-alteringly annoying line from Rebekah where she says, "The way I was dressed, I was a woman." Also, "Karen and Kurt continued treading water." I would have written, "Karen and Kurt kontinued..." but Gustave takes copyright violation very seriously. "Brent and Sissie tried desperately not to have sex," and then a clip of Sissie saying either "It's hard not to think about it" or "It's hard not to. Think about it!" Either way it's annoying since you know she totally wants to ride the B-Train. "Andrea and Kristian became intimate despite an uncertain future." We see Kristian explaining that he doesn't see himself with Andrea, so I don't know why Andrea (and Santagati in his narration) continue to pretend that their future together is "uncertain" since everybody else is fairly certain there is no future together. We are transported to happier times for Tim 1.0 and Cecile -- happier for Cecile, anyway, who we see being greatly amused by Rebekah's screaming at Tim to confess his feelings. We watch Tim and Cecile snuggle in bed. Then we watch again the best Reality Check segment on this show so far, where Tim reveals in front of everyone that he's not attracted to Cecile, which causes Cecile to curse a blue streak in the bathroom. At Proposal Point, Sissie kept Brent, Andrea kept Kristian, Rebekah kept Jason, and Cecile dumped Tim in favour of a new Tim. Then Stupid Santagati says the couples have another week to get to know each other, so by the show's reckoning, I guess the couples have spent about a month with each other, when in reality it's been only twelve days. Whatever, FOX.
Next, it sounds like Dave Matthews or Eagle-Eye Cherry or some other acoustic rock troubadour is performing at the Northern Light. Everybody's hanging out at the bar. Small talk between New Tim (formerly Swishy Tim) and Cecile. New Tim -- still wearing that stupid shirt with the giant yo-ho-ho sleeves -- tells Cecile he's into wrestling and football and Cecile says, "I can see you being a wrestler," like, maybe Cecile needs her eyes checked. In an interview, Cecile says that New Tim is nice, but that she is more concerned with letting Old Tim go. Still with the small talk. I think New Tim challenges her to a wrestling match or something, because she says, "I'm not afraid of you!" No -- not yet, anyway. New Tim -- and I have to say, for anyone who ever watched Degrassi Junior High, that New Tim reminds me of Wheels, only more of a pseudo-hipster. Does that make sense? -- blah blahs in an interview that he was Cecile's best option. Back to the Northern Light, where Rebekah and Jason are bagging on everybody to head back to Rebekah's cabin and Cecile clearly doesn't want to be left alone with New Tim. In an interview, Rebekah says that Cecile was really hurt by Old Tim, whom she calls "Timmy" and I guess she's being dismissive or something. She says that Cecile and New Tim are just "having a good time" only it doesn't look like they're having any fun at all, and of course Cecile follows right behind Rebekah and the two couples leave the Northern Light. In an interview, New Tim says that he doesn't think Cecile's ready to tell him what she thinks of him and he's not one to push. "I think she's still detoxing," he says, and that "detoxing" reference really annoyed me, and I'm warning Wing Chun now that the first time someone says "closure," I am out of here and she can get someone else to recap this. ["Who else could I get that would put up with that 'closure' shit? Even Dr. Phil doesn't say that." -- Wing Chun]