Looking for Love
Oh, The Drama!

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Daniel: D+ | Grade It Now!
The Sum of All Tears

In an interview, Kristian says again, "Right at this moment, in my gut, I don't see myself with Andrea." Kristian's interviews are looking more and more like videos of hostages pleading for the ransom to be paid. Then he says he's not very proud of himself for not keeping the physical element out of the relationship. It "complicates things," but "being who [he is], it's coming out," which I guess means he's such a super-stud he can't keep himself from grabbing some booty, which he does in the next scene -- that grainy clip they've been showing in the teasers every week of Kristian and Andrea in bed together, with him taking off her shirt while he's very obviously positioned to be between her and the camera.

Day 9. 10:30 AM. The group date with the Men on Ice is at some spa. We watch Brent on a treadmill talking to Sissie, who isn't even working out while Brent's muskrat hair flops around on his head. Rebekah and Jason hang out in the sauna, which evoked childhood memories of the family house in Whitehorse, Yukon, which had a sauna in it and we went cross-country skiing every weekend and our house was on the edge of the city so after we were done skiing on the local trails Mom would drive me and my brother and sister home while Dad would ski home through the brush basically to our back door, and then we'd have a sauna and my dad used to get royally pissed off because I was always putting chocolates on the rocks in the sauna to watch them melt. Good times. Anyway, Tim -- fully clothed -- sits in a pool chair next to Cecile, who is in a bathing suit. In the Wacky Hijinks portion of the episode, Kurt picks up Karen, but he doesn't throw her in; he just jumps in while holding her, because we all know she'd drown otherwise, since swimming would force her to expend some energy. In an interview, Cecile speculates that Kurt and Karen are working on "the friendship thing," and she doesn't know if there's any sort of "love connection" between them and if there's anything I enjoy about this show it's the way the people in these really pathetic so-called "relationships" see no problem with questioning how well others' equally pathetic so-called "relationships" are going. Tim's a little more blunt in his assessment of Kurt and Karen, saying that they're treading water, since they don't say or do anything, which is certainly backed up by lack of screen time devoted to them thus far. In an interview with Kurt, he snooze-inducingly goes on about how much he and Karen have opened up with each other. Then, hilariously, Karen goes on in an interview about how little they've opened up with each other. It's also one of those interviews where Karen sits and moves not one bit other than her head, making her look like an unsmiling bobblehead. Tim offers a pretty bang-on assessment: "It's like there aren't two people there; it's like two zombies going through the motions of life," he says, cracking himself up in the process, followed up with a had-enough-of-this-shit Karen getting out of the pool to go take up space somewhere else.

That night, it's a romantic dinner for two for each of the couples in the women's cabins. Brent and Sissie eat and talk. So do Karen and Kurt. So do Andrea and Kristian. So do Cecile and Tim, and you're annoyed at the repetition, and then we watch Jason amble on over to Rebekah's cabin. His voice-over explains, "I'm interested in getting to know Rebekah as a person." I think you're supposed to be honest at least in your interviews, there, Jason. He shows up at her door, and she opens it wearing a red top and black pants and Jason tells her she looks good. In an interview, Rebekah says, "The way I was dressed, I was a woman" and I half-expected her to add, "a twenty-seven-year-old woman" but I was also amazed that despite the fact I keep thinking my dislike for Rebekah has reached its absolute peak, she goes and says something annoying like "The way I was dressed, I was a woman" and she harshes on Jason for looking like a "little snowboarder guy" which is exactly what he is, Miss "I'm Real" Rebekah, and she refers to herself as "mature" and says, "You could totally tell the difference between us" which I have pegged at ten years, easy, although I did get email from someone who says she went to school with Rebekah and says she is indeed twenty-seven so I don't know. Mind-numbing small talk as Jason posits that he and Rebekah likely wouldn't be going out in the real world. Rebekah sits on the arm of the couch and her protruding spine looks about ready to split through the skin of her back. In an interview, Rebekah blah blahs that she thinks Jason isn't just playing the game. How boring are these interviews, anyway? In an interview, Cecile says she thinks Rebekah likes Jason because he's fun and has a mind, too, or something.

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Looking for Love




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