Looking for Love
Oh, The Drama!

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The Sum of All Tears

Cecile's cabin. The cheesy, smoky sax starts up as we see Tim in Cecile's bed and she asks if she can come in, like, it's your bed, Cecile. Then they kiss for a little bit and then Cecile disappears under the blankets and the general consensus on the boards seems to be she headed south for some Skagway suction, a Haines hummer, a little Fairbanks fellatio. Then we see Cecile stroking Tim's head (the one on his shoulders, you dirty-minded freaks) while he sleeps.

Commercials. Tom Cruise arrests people for crimes they haven't committed yet and I guess this is supposed to be science fiction but I'm betting we're not that far off from that scenario in real life anyway.

Day 11. It looks like it's snowing and I guess it's cold enough for them to start showing the temperature again: 17°. Let's see what the useless competition is this week, shall we? Okay, it's skeet shooting, which is at least something people actually do for fun and in terms of hunting could actually prove itself useful in Alaska so let's have a round of applause for the producers. Santagati explains blah blah that these are the challengers coming to whisk the women away. In an interview, Kristian says it would hurt if Andrea hooked up with someone else even though he's told us a couple of times he doesn't really see himself with her. You can't have it both ways, Kristian, you nimrod. Santagati asks if the women are ready to meet the new men and this is where they got that clip of Rebekah saying "yeah" in that weird excited-but-still-pod-person voice that they've shown us eighty million times already, so I hope they stop showing it now.

The new men are: Terry, thirty-three, fisherman. Blue eyes, 5'9". His hobbies are hunting and photography and he voice-overs thusly about his ideal wife: "I think that's a tough question, 'cause if you look for it I believe you'll never find it" whatever that means and how nice to refer to your ideal wife as an "it" anyway. In an interview, Cecile blah blahs about what a nice guy he seems to be and maybe FOX would like to make it not quite so blindingly obvious who's going to wind up together through their choice of interview clips.

Next up, Doug, twenty-five (which raised some eyebrows on the boards), state trooper. Blue eyes, 5'9", like how short are the men of Alaska anyway? His hobbies are hunting and hockey. "At this point in my life, commitment sounds good; I've done the dating game" and I am getting tired of these guys on the show who are younger than I am but all eager-beaver wanting to get married whereas I'm still worried that if I got married and settled down, I'd have kids who'd try to hog my PlayStation. And it used to be that my mom was cautioning me against settling down too soon, but there was almost an instantaneous switch to her practically ordering me to start producing some children so she'll have grandkids to spoil, like she'll say, "Are you going to give me any grandchildren anytime soon?" and my normal response is to say something like, "Well, call me back after Debbie -- remember her? -- gets the paternity test results back" and that usually shuts her up but I know that if I don't have kids soon, eventually even accidental out-of-wedlock grandchildren produced from one night stands would be fine with my mom. In an interview, Karen snaps out of her coma long enough to say that Doug looks like Robert Downey Jr. Yeah, maybe if he ate Robert Downey Jr.

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Looking for Love

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