Looking for Love
Oh, The Drama!

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The Sum of All Tears

Back at the Northern Light, the Men on Ice are playing pool some more which, to me, is far preferable to watching Andrea hork back a burger and fries. In an interview, Brent says he's nervous about Sissie going off on a date since he adores her. Awww. No, I mean it!

Bob and Sissie are going hiking in the Kenai National Wildlife Reserve. In an interview, Bob says he thinks he made the right choice picking Sissie since she's gorgeous and he loves her hair, and how much stock you want to put in a hair compliment from a man with a mullet is up to you. Business in front, party in back, Bob! They check out some sort of trail guide sign, and Bob says they're going to climb some "elevation" and Sissie makes a crack about seeing what Bob's "made of" and then she does her scary-scrunched-up-face laugh thing that gave me nightmares all week. In an interview, Sissie calls him "easygoing" and they do seem to have fun together. As they hike, Sissie asks if he has a certain type, and Bob, being no dope, pretty much describes Sissie exactly. But we all know it doesn't matter if both of them acknowledge they'd make a good match, since barring someone stabbing Brent to death, I can guarantee Sissie's not dropping him.

Oh, man. Back at the Northern Light, Kurt and Jason are talking and Jason is wearing his woolen swimmer's cap indoors and Kurt is using the word "connection" in an actual sentence even though there aren't any women around. In an interview, he...ZZZZZZ. Oh, sorry, didn't catch it.

Doug's on a date with Karen, who is easily the least fun person in the group, man or woman. I mean, whenever you see her outside it is painfully obvious she hates being out there. She and Doug are going snowshoeing and yes I have snowshoed too but not to school or anything. In an interview, Karen says the showshoeing was fun since you can walk and talk and get to know someone. I respectfully submit that they couldn't have been walking too fast because snowshoeing can be pretty hard work. We see a clip of Karen checking to see how her French-manicured nails are holding up and then Doug takes off her snowshoes for her so she won't "break a nail" which I'm sure made Doug want to shoot himself (if he weren't such a lousy shot). In an interview, Doug says he doesn't think many of the bachelorettes would "make it" in Alaska, which might be true because of the isolation and the long, dark winters but not because of the snowshoeing -- I mean, Anchorage is a city of a quarter-million people, for crying out loud. When people find out I grew up in the North they always ask me what it was like and if the midnight sun was weird (and I did live for a few years in Inuvik, NT which is up past the Arctic Circle which is where the sun actually doesn't set for a period of time in the summer and conversely doesn't rise for a period of time in the winter) and I can't really explain it since it was what I grew up with and didn't have much to contrast it with so it didn't seem strange at all to me at the time. Although to this day, I am mildly obsessed with daylight hours to the extent that sunrise/sunset times are the first things I check in the newspaper every day. ["Aw. No, I mean it!" -- Wing Chun] Anyway, Doug and Karen walk down to some river, which Karen calls "purty." Doug rolls out a caribou skin for Karen to sit on, and she does her extremely annoying baby-voice squeal thing and says, "What happened?" and I swear to god I think she was asking the caribou skin itself and I yelled "SOMEONE KILLED IT AND NOW IT'S DEAD YOU CHILD" and in terms of annoyance-per-actual-second-of-screen-time, Karen beats Rebekah easily. You can tell Doug isn't overly impressed, even as Karen in an interview says that their conversations were really comfortable, and she is always going on about conversations with these guys, but I guess it's not like she actually does anything. In an interview, Doug says he likes to stay within his own age group, and he could tell Karen was older (but that she wouldn't give her age).

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Looking for Love

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