Commercials. Can everyone agree that the cachet of getting actual NBA players to appear in your basketball movie is completely negated by the fact that they cannot act?
Patrick and Andrea's date is another hiking trip, like she went on last week. Again she has to pretend she enjoys it even though she's clearly never hiked a day in her life before going on this show. Patrick the Living Ego asks if he looked good catching fish and Andrea tells him he looked "awesome" and not only that -- Patrick is her "hero." God almighty would you RELAX for two seconds, Andrea. In an interview, Patrick with I swear to god Elton John glasses on says he normally dates younger women because he relates to them better because he likes to goof off, whatever that's supposed to mean. Back to them hiking and Patrick lets loose with this huge belch and then says "sound check!" and then burps again. How rude is this guy? Andrea just laughs. In an interview, she says that Patrick felt he could relax around her: "I don't get bugged by much," like APPARENTLY NOT, Andrea. At least now we know why she thinks she's in charge on this show. If she's able to convince herself this guy burping all during their first date is a good thing, it's no wonder that she thinks a guy offering to get her a drink is her total slave. And yes, it's nice when you're comfortable enough in a relationship to expel bodily gases -- having the freedom to be in bed with someone and pull the dreaded Dutch oven without getting dumped is one of life's sublime pleasures -- but maybe Andrea could use some of her supposed powers to tell this jackass to mind his goddamn manners. ["Yeah, you have to wait until at least the second date to really let one rip." -- Wing Chun] Cut to Patrick and Andrea sitting and having some kind of frozen-ass picnic. Patrick asks her what her favourite food is and she thinks about it a moment and then says, "Dinner," I swear to god. I SWEAR TO GOD. In an interview, Andrea says that humour and laughter are really important in a relationship, and that Patrick is a very funny guy. Back at the picnic, Patrick holds up this black harness-looking thing and says it'll come in handy later and Andrea -- who would probably just giggle if Patrick said he liked child porn -- just giggles. In an interview, Patrick says it doesn't take him long to warm up to someone, and if he can do whatever he wants and the other person is offended, then.... I'm sorry. I just can't believe how obnoxious this guy is, but if he thinks doing whatever he wants is any way to go about a relationship, then Andrea is certainly the perfect doormat for him.