Next Santagati voice-overs what happened on last week's episode (with "Previously On" superimposed on the screen): the women pick their men and we see the scary tall bald lead singer of Midnight Oil dude again, and the replay of Andrea's stupid clip where she boasts about making Kristian take off his glasses and how this made her drunk with power. Glacier-watching. The couples get to know each other. There's a clip of Sissie saying, "I think that Brent and I have a lot of potential" that I don't remember seeing last time, but who can really distinguish one of her eyes-bugging-out interview clips from the next, really? Then we see Kristian "put the brakes" on things with Andrea -- then we see the axe-throwing competition as Santagati says, "The four new potential husbands were thrown into the mix," although it happened before the Andrea-Kristian thing. Anyway, lots of clips of people mingling and, "Suddenly, it was Rebekah who stole much of the attention" and we hear Sissie explain that Rebekah wants "to have her cake and eat it too" and Rebekah's false-ingénue routine where she says, "They're all being so nice to me!" We're subjected to clips of Dorky Earmuffs massaging her, and I really regret having to see that guy again -- I mean, I'd just barely gotten over my disappointment in this guy on behalf of All Men Everywhere, because after I saw his pathetic plea to Rebekah I spent the next few days randomly apologizing to women on the street because I was so ashamed of him, and we're forced to watch him getting used by Rebekah.
Time lapse of moon rising. Someone named Eric Schotz is credited as "executive producer" and "writer" which made me snort "writer?" since I'm willing to bet my first recap required more writing than the entire seven episodes of this crapfest, and speaking of which, how much do you want to bet that Shack saw I turned in eighteen pages and said, "We'll see about that!" and then wrote nineteen pages worth on American Idol and at least his show had a stoned guy trying to sing "Silent Night" which has had me laughing all week. Anyway, my skepticism only doubled when the next executive producer is also credited as a writer, since I guess it takes two brilliant minds to come up with such gems as that "keep in play/send away" thing and "rules of engagement."
And even though a week has gone by since the last episode, we pick up where the last episode left off, kind of like 24, only without tension or excitement -- you know, stuff that makes television good, like Kiefer Sutherland running around yelling, "Who are you working for?" all over the place and then shooting Dennis Hopper. And let me tell you, I would pay good money to have Kiefer Sutherland drive a van right into the Northern Light and then get out spraying bullets.