Next up, Patrick, and he reminded me of Michael Rapaport from Beautiful Girls -- the guy with the unhealthy obsession with models. He's a twenty-nine-year-old architect, 5'9", green eyes; his hobbies are painting and rugby and I guess today is the day with the artistic men coming out of the woodwork. Blah blah love at first sight blah blah.
Jason, twenty-six, is a professional snowboarder, whose hobbies are juggling and skateboarding, which is kind of cool, I thought. 6'0", blue eyes. He says something about his ideal woman being very confident. Cut to a shot of Rebekah checking him out and then an interview in which she says when they were on the glacier picking their original Men on Ice, Jason joked around a lot and "everybody was like, 'Rebekah, when Jason comes, you'll have fun," because I guess that would be a major change for Rebekah who up until now hasn't managed to show any interest in any of the guys.
So the competition is: catching fish, because Alaskan men like to catch fish, so says Santagati, placing Alaskan men at odds with men everywhere else who I guess hate to fish, but besides that, we're two for two in terms of choosing activities that piss me off if for no other reason that they don't have anything to do with anything. Not that I believed their website, but you realize that when FOX said the activities were "very Alaskan," they actually meant "tangentially involving something that is connected to Alaska in some way." Then, as if things weren't bad enough, Steve says the fish will be "donated for charity" when they're done, like, thank you, socially conscious FOX -- thanks for killing all these fish just for your stupid show and then attempting to make it better with this supposed "charity" nonsense when you know that Santagati hastily added that at the last second.
Then we get this interminable fish-catching sequence that consists solely of the challengers catching fish, challengers dropping fish, and people laughing and clapping. It wasn't even entertainingly bad. It was just annoying and took way too long. Michael and Jason each catch fifteen fish, Patrick catches seventeen, and Jeff catches nineteen.
Jeff's the "winner" inasmuch as anyone on this show can be a winner and he gets $2,000, like, how much money is being wasted on this program anyway? But oh it's okay because FOX is going to try to find some charity willing to take several dozen old, dirty fish.