Lost (2001)
Empire!

Episode Report Card
Alex Richmond: D+ | Grade It Now!
YOU GRADE IT
Empiiiire!

Pink Team is still wandering the streets of Moscow, "growing increasingly dysfunctional." Hee. They have $90 left. Joe says he sees a taxi stand, with a lady, but when he asked the lady for a taxi she said, "No taxi." Courtland asks, "When we get into the taxi, where do we say we are going?" Joe doesn't know. Oh my sweet lord. In an interview, Courtland says that the city was "not my game. The earlier part, that was supposed to be my game. The city part, well, I thought that was going to be my partner's game." Joe, in another interview, natters that he knew there were going to be challenges, and that having a partner would be another challenge, and now he's "choosing not to deal with it." Passive-aggressive freak. Courtland notes that the "fun was gone." Wow, there was fun? When was that?

Team Empire slogs through the Tokyo airport, trying to get tickets with no money. Polite Japanese airline ticket people totally laugh in their faces. I don't blame them. For some reason, Calrissian flips the camera an extended bird.

The Blondes and their hunky American journalist guy try to negotiate a boat ride, but run out of energy. Then they learn that they are staying (for free) at one of the lamest hotels in Vladivostok. Plus, when they sit down, they get propositioned because the crappy hotel rents by the hour. Ex-Bimbo and Mother-of-Four can't see any advantage in that. So they spend their energy trying to stay at a nice hotel. And who thought these blondes weren't dumb! Not me. They get a nicer hotel room (Tami says she can "smell the soap and the shower") and collapse.

Team Empire wakes up early, after sleeping pretty badly in the airport all night. They go to a few airline ticket offices and get denied at each one. One guy firmly says, "That is our final decision." Then Calrissian runs into a fleet of Northwest flight attendants and wheedles them for help. One attendant guy gives away the tickets they get for family. Three passes and a nice hotel room for free! Woohoo! Lando and Calrissian frolic in the beautiful hotel pool.

The Blondes giggle at Celeste's dirty bathwater. "I'm a dirty girl," giggles Celeste. But she said she only looks like a bimbo? Oh, she meant literally dirty. My bad.

Team Empire, after two days at the airport, are waiting standby for a flight to New York. They wait nervously. And don't make it. But they hang out in the airport bar and have a good time. Calrissian says she "met the coolest people." Then, they make a plane to Hawaii -- which is, as Voice-Over Guy helpfully says, the same flight time from Moscow to New York. And guess who is still in Moscow?

Previous 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8Next

Lost (2001)

Comments

SHARE THE SNARK

X

Get the most of your experience.
Share the Snark!

See content relevant to you based on what your friends are reading and watching.

Share your activity with your friends to Facebook's News Feed, Timeline and Ticker.

Stay in Control: Delete any item from your activity that you choose not to share.

The Latest Activity On TwOP