Lost (2001)
Empire!

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Empiiiire!

Lando and Calrissian wait for a plane. For the third day in a row.

Celeste sees a sucker...I mean, "guy," and sells him her watch for $280. They now have enough for tickets to New York.

Are you still awake? I mean, "which team will make it to New York first?" We get a shot of an airplane window, then a very tight shot of the flame in the Statue of Liberty's torch. Then, and plane landing and "ladies and gentlemen, welcome to New York." Calrissian "woos." They take a taxi; then, after negotiating, they buy the very last tickets to the ferry to Liberty Island. For some reason, the camera has a fisheye lens on. Calrissian says she'll die if the first person she sees is Celeste. Lando says it'll all be good, but he'll be hurt if they see another team. But they are first. Woo! Wooo! Empiiiire! They win. We get an "emotional," "inspiring" montage of Lando-and-Calrissian moments. Then, Voice-Over Guy says the Blondes played a "gentler but determined game," and win nothing for being a day late. They get to "celebrate a friendship, and a truckload of memories." And, you know, write annoying letters to me asking me why I'm so mean and what my deal is and all. Oh, the perks of losing. For some reason, the Blondes are wearing more active-slut-wear as they make it to the Statue of Liberty -- Celeste in a bikini and hot pants (very 1999) and Tami in her bikini bottom. They seem happy, though. Good for them. Now go away. And the Pink Team? Have "vastly different takes on what went wrong out there." Yes, denial and refusing to accept responsibility will cloud one's head.

Finally, some mention of what happened on September 11th. "There is a reason why they finished here." "Here" being, of course, the Statue of Liberty. "A symbolism greater now than ever before. Here, after all, is home." What? Is that it? What a fucking cop-out. They didn't even say what the symbolism was! What am I, Kreskin? Oh wait, is it "freedom"? No, "huddled masses," right? Yeah, huddled masses. The end.

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Lost (2001)

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