Lost (2001)
The First Lost

Episode Report Card
Alex Richmond: C- | 1 USERS: A+
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The First Lost

Harvey Whinerstein and Courtland Place head off, way, way, waaay behind everyone else. They say they're going to "time their packing better next time." Oh, is that what you call it?

Lando and Calrissian scamper by The Blondes as if they got info from someone. The Blondes nastily sing-song, "I know what country we're in!" No, they don't. Beez-notches. They pick up more trash to try to decipher the language.

A motorcycle buzzes past Harvey and Courtland. They wave frantically, but he doesn't stop. He does stop briefly for Lando and Calrissian, but then buzzes by. Aw! Harvey and Courtland blather on that human contact will be an important next step in winning. Yeah. But many people are turned off by outgoing natures, and by Americans in general. Sure. They are disagreeing. Okay.

The Blondes, weakened by the hiking ("four hours old" says the host), stop. They are tired. The motorcycle guy buzzes by them, too, but they're too tired to care. So what's my excuse?

Courtland Place and Harvey have gotten two other motorcycle dudes to stop for them. The dudes? Don't speak English. They point at the mountains around them. Courtland is like, "Water? If we give you, will you give us...?" The people look Mongolian. They take the water bottles and drive off.

The Blondes are all passed out. Celeste says it's a toss-up between "looking like a wimp on camera, or throwing up." Can one throw up from boredom? Watch me. No one knows where they are yet.

The motorcycle dudes come back with water, and the Pink Team of Courtland and Harvey look at their bike for clues. They think they're in Russia. Russia, baby! Woo! Or, not!

Lando and Calrissian -- my favorite team, so I'll call them The Empire -- come up to a pile of rubble and look for clues. Calrissian finds a bottle of Mongolian Vodka. Ding ding ding! Whoop whoop! Good for you. Calrissian explained it all! Yay. Can I stop now? Lando finds a jar full of money and is too spooked to open it. Calrissian decides to call in with the info and she is right! Woo! Woo! BSB forever I love you Carson wooo!

The Blondes, one brain between them, talk with another motorcycle driver and get an inkling on a clue that they may be in Mongolia. The Pink Team still thinks they are in Russia. No, Czechoslovakia. India? No. Czechoslovakia, which is in Russia. They think.

The Blondes call in, all, "Mongolia, baby!" They do the cabbage patch and open a locked compartment in their packs with more cash and passports and stuff. No maps, though.

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Lost (2001)

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