Okay, in classic Bunim/Murray fashion, something exciting and important happens, and we don't see it for ourselves. Apparently, Lando was sleeping, and some Russian boys came by to see whether Calrissian wanted to party. She did not, so they started yelling, and according to Team Empire's cameraperson, "Some mention of the n-word was used [sic]." Carla and Cameradude were like, screw you guys, Lando is our friend, and Lando says he just calmly stayed in his bunk, because he "didn't want to be one of those angry, you know, guys, that they see on TV all the time." Lando is so totally my boyfriend. Racism sucks.
The Blondes -- due to the "magic" worked by Marguerite the Mormon -- get on the train. As Celeste sat in the train station, Marguerite put on a bikini or went hooking or something, and got the Blondes on board at the last second. They are now in second place.
Team Pink, having had many drinks and meats and cheeses and things, is waiting for a plane. "All this partying is strategic," says Joe. Mmm-hmm. The Russian lady plays the spoons. Their camera-lady does as well. Voice-Over Guy says that if they do, in fact, get on the plane, they'll be first. If, if, if.
Tami and Celeste are on the train, which has stopped. They have been stopped for nine hours. Tami says that her mother is ahead of her now, along with her dead grandmother. As soon as your dead grandmother stops spinning in her grave, I hope she comes back to slap you, Tami, for invoking her name for this hokey-as-shit show. They drink. Tami slurs, "Dos-ve-freaking-danya." She repeats the phrase. No one else cracks up. Not even her dead grandmother.
Lando and Calrissian de-train in Vladivostok, at the Pacific Coast. Next, they want to get on a cruise ship.
Joe blathers that he doesn't think Team Empire has enough money to get on a plane, so Calrissian and Lando are in a great position. If, in fact, they get on the plane. If!
Calrissian begs to be let on the cruise ship. She says she'll make beds or clean rooms. Please. Please? Pretty please?
After saying that they have "a verbal agreement" for a reduced plane ticket, Joe asks a heavily made-up Russian lady -- Vera -- whether they're going to win. Vera. Vera? Girrrl-friend? Answer the gay New Yorker! I think she's drunk.
Calrissian begs and begs the cruise-ship people, again, some more. Lando sings, Calrissian can dance. Anything!
Courtland wants to get the tickets. Oleg looks at them like he's about to kill them.