So Lost's going to kill off one of the characters tonight, is it? Who could it be? Could it be Sawyer, who keeps collapsing as the Tailaways trek to the other side of the island? Could it be Cindy or Libby or Abby or Gabby or whoever the hell that Tailaway is who suddenly disappears? Or could it be the character the show spends an hour makin' all sympathetic? Well, as sympathetic as you can make a spoiled princess. When Shannon's rich daddy dies and she gets no money, she stops being spoiled by her heartless stepmom, and is forced to make it on her own. And we all know how that turns out -- with her scamming her stepbrother by taking advantage of his feelings for her. Shannon, please let us know when we're supposed to feel sorry for you. Sayid's definitely on board the Love Shannon Express, having spent a few minutes making her the nicest tent on the island, and he tells Shannon he loves her. So much for Nadia, I guess. Shannon sees Walt again and goes chasing off into the jungle after him, in yet another of her You-Think-I'm-A-Joke?-Well-I'll-Show-You storylines. And she sees Walt again, and this time it appears that Sayid sees him too, although I'm not convinced that Sayid didn't just say he did, trying to calm a hysterical Shannon.
The Tailways' journey involves MacGyvering this amazing stretcher to carry Sawyer, and Michael finally asks what happened with the Others, and Ana-Lucia says the Others snatched up many of the crash survivors, which doesn't really tell us a lot, since that's kind of what we guessed, isn't it? Anyway, Ana-Lucia says the Others are dangerous, and one bullet in one gun ain't gonna stop them.
Maybe she shouldn't have mentioned the gun, because everyone knows that when you introduce a gun in the first act, it must go off in the third. And when Shannon goes running off into the bushes again, that single bullet from an on-edge Ana-Lucia is certainly enough to send a gut-shot Shannon back into the arms of her redemptive new love. Sayid no like Ana-Lucia. Sayid no like Ana-Lucia at all.
But no, it's not Libby. On the off chance you don't actually watch the show, preferring instead to read and scroll for about the same length of time (in which case, bless you), I'll try not to give it away before it actually happens, okay? I'll just let the show do the storytelling, which it does in its usual manner, i.e. focusing on one major character for the A-plot and flashbacks. And hopefully I won't say anything that identifies who dies.
So we open with Shannon…
Oh, damn. Sorry about that.
Shannon gives water to a thirsty Vincent, and the fact that she is actually looking after the damn dog is the first clue that we're in for some emergency sympathy-generation. Water to a dog? Shannon's not selfish at all! She even kisses Vincent, who sits there, tongue lolling out, and he doesn't spoil the moment by humping her leg. This is a kind of restraint that Sayid can't exactly boast of.
Speak of the devil. Sayid strolls by, tosses her a bag or something, and cheerfully tells her to gather her things, and keeps walking, expecting her to follow. She wants to know where they're going, but she's giggling, because the last time he did this it turned out to be a romantic candlelit picnic, capped off by a night of snuggling and jokes about blue balls. And then she returned to camp to find out her brother was dead. So you can see why she'd be so eager to recreate the Sayid Magical Mystery Tour of Love.
A ways down the beach, Sayid's got some sort of deluxe tent thing set up with canvas and palm fronds. Shannon smiles and asks if it has an inside. I'm no physicist, but…yes? They go inside, which is all Queer Eye for the Persian Guy with candles and flowers everywhere. Sayid's really putting on the full-court press here. She's amazed. "When did you do this?" she asks. During the endless hours of NOTHING TO DO you have when you're a plane crash survivor on a deserted island, is my guess. Sayid simply says, "It's all for you," and she thanks him, and he gives her a husky, "You're quite welcome," and then sees his opening and moves in, and then start kissing. Shannon slides her hand down his back, towards his ass…and turns out that is a gun in his pocket. Or waistband, anyway, and he apologizes it and removes it. She asks if he needs to carry it around all the time. "I only carry it because I have someone to protect," he says. Sayid, I like you, but relax; I think you're in there this time. And sure enough, they hit the floor of the Iraqi love shack.