Lost
All The Best Cowboys Have Daddy Issues

Episode Report Card
Dan Kawa: D+ | 2 USERS: A-
YOU GRADE IT
There's Nothing Autoerotic About Autoerotic Asphyxiation
Jack, running through the jungle aimlessly, stops and tries to find some kind of sign. He finally spots a twig that's been snapped. Clearly, Charlie and Claire snapped that twig during their kidnapping. It definitely wasn't snagged by a polar bear, or trodden on by a boar, or KATANGed by the Iron Giant, or blown off in a rainstorm. Jack's Thousand-Yard Stare of Impending Flashback leads us to a...

FlashJack! The operating room. Though it will eventually become clear that Jack's dad was the initial surgeon operating on the patient and that Jack filled in later once a crisis came about, the actual deets are very muddy in this scene, and unintentionally so, I think. Whatever, they argue for a while, and the key here is that Jack believes his father has had too much to drink to perform the surgery and that's why the patient died. Also, Jack tells his dad that one of the nurses came to get him when it was apparent his father was screwing up, and his dad asks which nurse it was, and Jack, happily, isn't a fucking rat, because we know what happens to rats, don't we? They get shot by Little Stevie Van Zandt.

Back inna jungle. Locke, Kate, and Boone, God's Friggin' Gift to Humanity find Jack. "Good thing you were going in a circle," Locke says. Heh. Locke tries to send Jack back to the caves and says that this whole thing is his own fault. "I hunted with Ethan, spent time with him, and never sensed anything...off," Locke says. Maybe, Locke, that's because you yourself are a bit...off. Just maybe. I don't want to insult you, because -- hey, what are you doing with those 400 knives? Aiiieeeeeee! Locke points out that Ethan knows more about hunting and tracking than Locke does, and tells Jack that if it comes down to a fight, he doesn't want anything happening to the only doctor on the island. Once again, Locke is the sensible voice of reason, and once again Jack's guilt trip makes him ignore Locke's advice and push on. Kate gives Jack one of those looks that is supposed to make us believe she senses something deep within his soul, but ends up looking, y'know, sad and pensive.

Back at the Rape Caves, Mercutio's complaining about Locke to Hugo. "I'm getting sick of being treated like a second-class citizen because Mount Baldy can bag a boar." If I recall correctly, "windsurfing on Mount Baldy" was one of Letterman's Top Ten phrases that sound dirty but really aren't. Dan Kwa! Droppin' the trivia all ovah yo' asses! Then, on top of everything, Mercutio gets bitched out by his own kid. "[Locke's] a warrior," Walt says. "He can hunt, he can track, and he's the only one who brought knives. If it was me, I would listen to him." Hugo gives a look like, Oh, no he di'n't! But oh, yes, Hugo, he d'i'd. "Well, I don't want you to," Mercutio says as his score on the Good Dad Parenting Scale plummets. "I may not be a warrior, but I'm going south." He takes off. Apropos of nothing, Hugo muses, "Back home, I'm known as something of a warrior myself." Awesome.

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Lost

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