That appears to work, because next thing we see is Tom's pulling his car up under this huge-ass tree while longhorns go stampeding by in the background. And this tree is apparently either the same tree from Carnivale or just like some tree from Carnivale, which I wouldn't know since I don't watch that show. I tried to like it, and I was intrigued at first, but I eventually had to cut that one loose under the I Don't Have To Watch It Just Because It's HBO legislation that I approved a year or two ago (and you watch yourself, Six Feet Under, as you're about a dream sequence and a melodramatic screaming match away from qualifying). Tom looks around all paranoid as he opens his trunk and gets out a shovel. Meanwhile, Kate marks off six paces from the tree trunk, and they get to work digging. Because if Lost needs anything, it's more digging.

Back on the island, Jack and Locke are striding across the beach, and Locke's wondering if Mercutio's illness was heatstroke, but Jack says Mercutio would have felt that coming on. It's not bad fruit or fish, because Mercutio and Jin are on the same diet, and Jin's fine. Jack finds the cooler with the empty water bottles, and says that whatever felled Mercutio had to have metabolized quickly. "So you think it was the water," says Locke. Jack picks out a particular water bottle and shows it to Locke. "I don't think it was the water. It was something in the water," he says, and sure enough, at the bottom of the bottle is some sort of white residue. Commercials.

Jack asks Mercutio how he's doing, and Mercutio says the cramps are going down, so long as he doesn't move or breathe. Mercutio sees Locke over by the raft, talking to Hurley. "You and Locke kiss and make up?" he says. Jack shakes his head. "Good," says Mercutio, sitting up. He moves to take a swig of the water, but Jack stops him, handing him his own. After about five hours, Mercutio figures it out. "Someone did this to me?" he says. Jack says he isn't sure. Mercutio, however, is more than ready to jump to conclusions. "Sawyer," he says. But as my coach always taught me, when you make an "assumption," you look like an "ass" and the "ump" will "tion" you.