Lost
Confidence Man

Episode Report Card
Dan Kawa: B- | Grade It Now!
YOU GRADE IT
Just Because My Words Were Lies (Doesn't Mean My Love Weren't True)

All you people who posted how hott this was on the boards, gleefully discussing the HoYay in this protracted torture scene: Stop. Please. I'm begging you.

Flashback. Sawyer's in a bar talking to some kind of money-man type, apparently the guy who fronted him his half of the "oil money." This guy is upset by Sawyer's take-the-money-for-a-night tactic, rightfully wondering how Sawyer could be so stupid. At first, I too wondered how he could be so stupid -- not how he could be so stupid as to give the money overnight to Richard Kind, but how he could be so stupid to tell this guy all about it. But I was reminded over the course of this scene that Sawyer is definitely the kind of guy who wants to tell everyone how clever he is, so at least that makes a little bit of sense. "Women are easy," Sawyer says. "A few cocktails, a couple of stunts they hadn't seen between the sheets, and they think the scam's their idea." Husbands are tougher, he adds. Money Man asks, in a nicely tuned line of dialogue, "If you got your grift so pat, what'd you need my money for? Where's your seed from the last couple you wrote?" Sawyer replies, "I like earning it as much as I like spending it." For maximum value in that sentence, "earning it" and "spending it" should have been switched. Sawyer looks immensely pleased with himself until Money Man sticks his pool cue (not a euphemism) into Sawyer's chin and tells him he wants his money, plus 50 percent, tomorrow at noon, or else he'll make Sawyer suffer. Can Money Man do that? Money Man can, Money Money Man can.

Kate approaches a bloody, sweaty, and all-around grody Sawyer. He tells her he's still waiting for his kiss. Good God, what is wrong with this guy? "Are you serious?" she asks. "Baby, I am tied to a tree in the jungle of mystery. I just got tortured by a damn spinal surgeon and a genuine Iraqi. Of course I'm serious." Two interesting things here: 1. Jack is apparently a spinal surgeon, for everyone who was wondering what kind of health professional he was. And 2. Sawyer has even nicknamed the jungle. Stop the madness! Sawyer asks Kate if she's really gonna let Shannon suffocate just because she doesn't want to give him one little kiss. That's a pretty unsteady justification for your fourth-degree sexual assault, buckaroo. She finally agrees, crouches down in front of him, and kisses him. Let it be knows that Sawyer is not shy with slipping girls a little bit of Old Slurpy. For her part, Kate seems reasonably into it, despite the total craptastitude of this entire set-up.

As they stare into each other's eyes, Sawyer admits he never had the medicine. The book washed ashore, he says (see above re: falsity of said statement OR poor work of prop department). To his credit, Sawyer is not his usual gleeful self in imparting this information, and to his credit, Josh Holloway acts the hell out of this scene, and to her credit, Kate punches Sawyer in the mouth.

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Lost

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