Episode Report Card
LTG: A | Grade It Now!
What Is The Monster?

Miles kneels over Naomi's body, whispering something to someone. Kate asks Jack what he's up to, but he's damned if he knows. Dan notes that something seems to be wrong with the light on the island, and then Kate tries to sweet-talk him into putting his gun away. Dan: "Uh, because Miles would kill me." That's good motivation, right there. Jack has been staring off into the woods, and tells Kate to just let things be. He gives her a little wink as he does so. Miles returns, and announces that everything with Naomi happened exactly as Kate said it did. Dan's phone starts beeping -- it turns out that Charlotte is only three kilometers away. Dan runs off to find her, but stops when he realizes that Jack and Kate are not coming with. He gets curt with them, but Jack tells him to put his gun down. Miles: "Now why would I do that?" Jack: "Because our friends are out in the jungle right now, holding a gun at your head and [Dan's] head." Miles: "Come on, how stupid do you think I --" BANG! Sayid shoots an innocent vine near Miles's head. Kate grabs Dan's gun. Jack: "I don't know, Miles, how stupid are you?" Well, Jack -- why don't you go ahead and make an improbable statement to Miles. If he asks a question about that statement, he's smarter than 95% of the people on the island. Commercials.

A Range Rover-looking vehicle drives through the trackless desert. A chyron tells us that we're in Medenine, Tunisia. Wait, a chyron? Since when has this show resorted to chyrons to tell us where we are? The vehicle arrives at a camp, and two women exit. One of them takes a few steps and picks up a newspaper, titled Le Journal de Tunisie. And they needed the chyron why, exactly? Anyway, the headline in Le Journal is about the discovery of the wreckage of Oceanic 815. The brunette asks the blonde, "How many different languages do you have to read that in before you believe that it's true?" Blondie, in a rather plummy British accent: "How many different languages are there?" As they start walking across the camp, a guy heads them off and asks (in French) if he can help them. Brunette translates for Blondie -- essentially, she's heard about "the dig," but the guy would rather keep her away. A big fat wad of bills convinces him to change his mind.

The two women enter the dig, where there are a lot of bones partially excavated. Brunette asks if it's a dinosaur, and Blondie tells her she's off by a few million years -- it's actually a polar bear. What's a polar bear doing in the desert? Looking for a Coke, obviously. And then Blondie starts to do a little excavating of her own, digging out the dirt around the head and neck of the bear. Pretty quickly, she finds the remains of a leather collar. There's a Dharma insignia on the collar, bearing an image of a hydra.

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