Flashback. Jack's plinking away on a piano in the hotel dining room, much to the general annoyance of the diners. His fiancée strolls up to tell him that couple of girls are "checking him out," and he wisely doesn't look over to check them out in return. Instead, he turns to his fiancée and points out that she's in her PJs. "Indeed I am," she says, and her voice is doing this weird robot thing again. And then Jack asks if the girls are cute. "One of them's kind of cute. The other one's just trashy," she says, sitting beside him on the piano bench. "'Heart and Soul'?" she asks, like SPARE US, and I start hoping that she goes into anaphylactic shock, which I understand can stop someone's heart and soul. Jack agrees, and she says she's taking the "easy part," like maybe she could explain to me which part is the hard part -- I mean, isn't that the whole reason that people feel compelled to inflict "Heart and Soul" on innocent bystanders whenever there's a piano around, that the entire piece is an "easy part"? So they tinkle along, and she gives Jack an out by saying that he doesn't have to do this, and you think that she's talking about the wedding, or even better the "Heart and Soul," but she's not, and they're all cryptic about it. And then she messes up her part, like if there's anything worse than amateurs playing "Heart and Soul" it is amateurs SCREWING UP "Heart and Soul." And we find out that Jack's supposed to have written his vows, only he hasn't yet, and she says that she read too many bridal magazines and they rotted her brain, like, I can't believe she is apologizing for asking him to write his OWN DAMN VOWS, and he says he will but he has to find the words. "They're just vows," she says, like it's no big deal, which obviously it is, otherwise why write your own vows in the first place? Jack's distracted for a moment, watching someone get out of a cab. "Hey, he's gonna come," she says, and Jack says he knows. Then she says that he can take all the time he needs down there, and when he's ready, she'll be upstairs. This is the night before? Man, I was in a completely separate hotel from my fiancée and there were people whose sole responsibility it was to ensure that we didn't see each other at all from the moment the rehearsal dinner was over to the Big Moment. "I can't wait to marry you, Jack Shepherd," she says, this woman whose name we STILL DON'T KNOW, and she walks off.
Episode Report CardDaniel: B+ | 713 USERS: B-
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