Back at the wedding rehearsal, Silverman is introducing "the future Mrs. Jack Shepherd," and everyone claps, and how weird that he didn't even say her name. He gives her the microphone, and she makes a weird joke about needing a new microphone, because it sounds like this one's been drinking, and I have no idea what she means by that and it's not helped by the fact that she sounds exactly like Ana Gasteyer as Bobbi Moughan-Culp in that old SNL sketch with the dorky singing music teachers. And then she tells this story about being in a car accident two years ago, flipping over the centre divider into oncoming traffic and getting hit head-on by an SUV. "My back was broken," she says, like, here's a cheery little story for the wedding rehearsal. The whole time, the camera's been focused on Jack, until now, and Jack's fiancée is an attractive blonde woman, who's staring at Jack like a cult member. "They all said it was inoperable. And then there was Jack. And he promised that he would fix me. Because that's the kind of guy he is. Because you are the most committed man I've ever known. Because you fixed me. I will dance at our wedding." And this is all lovely and everything, but I can't help but wonder why Jack is marrying what appears to be some type of android or possibly cyborg. Then she calls Jack her "hero" and I'm starting to get really creeped out.
Back at the 4077th, Jack is examining Boone's leg. Sun has a little stick of something. "Give him this for the pain," she says. Jack says that he thinks it's a little late for herbal remedies. She snaps that it's not a remedy, and then puts it between Boone's teeth. Jack looks chagrined, and gives an apologetic nod, and I guess if we're going to try to explode some stereotypes, that's fine, but if someone says, "Give him this for the pain," in a medical situation, is there any way it means anything other than something you ingest or inject? Why couldn't Sun have just put the thing between Boone's teeth without uttering a completely contrived line in order to make Jack feel bad? Jack asks Sun to hold Boone's shoulders, and Jack takes hold of Boone's leg. And yanks. The noises Boone makes are very difficult to transcribe, but are something like this: "Owie owie owie owie owie owie owie owie owie!" but with a little more feeling. Outside, Hurley puts his fingers in his ears.
Kate's running through the jungle and then pretends she's being chased by Jason Voorhees and trips. She manages to fall on her back, breaking several bottles of booze in the backpack, even though everyone knows airlines use plastic bottles. She hears something in the bushes, decides that potentially getting eaten by a wild boar or Lostzilla or whatever is more important than getting her ass back to the caves to help Boone, and decides to investigate. Fortunately, it's only Claire, who appears to be in some discomfort, holding a tree for stability. She's grunting and holding her stomach. Kate takes about five hours to brilliantly deduce that Claire's going into labour. "Oh god, you're having the baby," she says, like, nice positive reaction, Kate. Commercials.
Thanks for the health tips, Mandy Patinkin. I will get my cholesterol checked.