Lost
Exodus, Part I

Episode Report Card
Daniel: A | 3 USERS: A+
YOU GRADE IT
Arzt and rafts

We're at the hatch, so get set for another scintillating discussion on what's inside, and whether they should try to open it, and how they would do that, although it never ever happens. I never get tired of that. Hurley's let in on the secret now, and he gives the hatch his best "Dude. Whoa." I guess he doesn't see his magic numbers etched on the hatch's surface, though, hey? And what's the story with it lighting up while Locke was there? Rousseau, examining the structure close up, asks what it is. Jack says they were hoping she'd be able to tell them. Reasonable hope, considering what a friggin' encyclopedia's worth of information she's provided so far. This is why Hurley was brought along, apparently: to bring up concerns particular to his girth. He wants to know how they know everyone will fit in that thing. Locke says that there's no handle on the hatch, which means there's another entrance, and another entrance means there's space. Uh, what? I allow you neither premise, Locke. Now please shut up. Sayid objects again to the thought of opening the thing. "This hatch might even be theirs!" He starts to say that the black smoke doesn't necessarily mean anything, but she interrupts him to reiterate that it means they're coming, and I'm not sure where he was going with that anyway. I mean, someone is producing the smoke. Maybe orcs! Locke reminds Rousseau that she boobytrapped her shelter, and asks if she has any more dynamite. Jack gets a look on his face like maybe they'd all agreed not to bring up the overwhelming evidence of craziness. "Dynamite. By the Black Rock. The dark territory." Hurley quietly says, "Well, that's three reasons to go right there." Heh. Line reading of the night. At least it was for an hour or so, until "Yes, you're still on comms." Rousseau says that if they're to make it back by sunset, they have to leave within the hour. Jack and Locke look at each other, each of them seemingly saying, "Don't look at me, I didn't bring her here." Commercials.

Jack's drinking (take a moment to collect yourselves) at an airport bar. We know it's an airport bar, because judging from the sound effects, there is a plane landing RIGHT BEHIND JACK'S HEAD. Michelle Rodriguez sits down next to him, ordering a tequila and tonic with a wedge and lemon from the bartender. Then she looks at Jack. "Why were you yelling?" she asks him. Jack, maybe because he's drunk, doesn't seem to know what she's talking about, so she reminds him that he was yelling at the woman at the check-in counter. "I'm sorry, do I know you?" he asks, and she tells him that she's on his flight, as though that makes it her business. But still he doesn't answer, so she tries being even nosier. "So your dad died, huh?" she says, and Jack says he thought she didn't hear what he was yelling about. "I was being polite," she says, so I guess Lost takes place in a universe that's slightly parallel to ours; everything's the same, except "polite" means exactly the opposite what it means it our universe. She asks how Jack's dad died, and he tells her it was a heart attack. "Not a drinker, huh?" says Michelle Rodriguez, after looking at Jack's glass, and he says, "No, not really," and I don't think lying is the best way to start this relationship. Then Michelle Rodriguez asks if he's not wearing a wedding ring because he's single or because he doesn't like wearing one, and can I just point out that there's a line between being direct and being annoyingly pushy, and Michelle Rodriguez is waving from the horizon by this point. ["And this dialogue is…yikes. Seems like they could have done better by my girl M-Rod." -- Sars] Jack says he was married, but not anymore, and Michelle Rodriguez smiles. Jack tells the bartender, "Another tequila and tonic for Michelle Rodriguez here," like, she's polished off her drink in about ninety seconds flat, so Jack might want to think twice before getting involved with another obvious boozehound. "I didn't think you were listening," says Michelle Rodriguez, "flirtingly."

Jack asks Michelle Rodriguez her name, and Michelle Rodriguez is all, "Michelle Rodriguez." And Jack wants to know why she's drinking tequila and tonic at ten to noon, like if anyone would recognize alcoholism, it's Dr. Tipsy McStagger here, and she explains that she hates flying and she got stuck at the back of the plane where the wheels come down right under your "damn feet," like get on a boat, then. Jack checks his ticket, and says he's in seat 23B, and she's in seat 42F, and she jokingly asks to trade. Then her cell phone rings, and she answers and is all, "Yeah, I'm in Sydney," and then she finds out Jack's name and apologizes, saying she needs to take this call, and says, "We'll have that next drink on the plane," and Jack is all smiling at the prospect of getting even more hammered with Michelle Rodriguez on the plane. And then also having sex with her. Because this is what we think when women drink tequila in bars before noon and ask us personal questions. I like Michelle Rodriguez's smile. Before leaving, she leans in again and says, "The worst part's over." Too bad that turned out to be such a load, huh? Jack watches her leave, a half-smile on his face.

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Lost

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