Exodus, Part II

Episode Report Card
Daniel: B | 1 USERS: A+
I was blown up by a pirate ship

Jack and Kate are leading the procession, and nobody's really saying much. Suddenly, there's a screech. It sounds like it's part of the soundtrack, but then we see this stock shot of a falcon or a hawk or something lifting up from a tree and flying away, which looks like it came from some totally other movie or television show. "Whoever named this place 'dark territory'? Genius," says Hurley. Onward, then. Jack and Kate pause for a moment, hearing some sort of rattle. Through the trees, a little black cloud of smoke zips by, like it's something's trail. Jack looks at Kate. "Yeah, I saw it. We gotta get out of here," she says. Jack and Kate start jogging, and Hurley follows. We hear another screech, and the flapping of wings -- and then Lostzilla's trademark tree uprooting begins, along with the metallic clank and roar, like maybe the island is being defended by Tom Waits records. Kate breaks into a full-on run, and you're yelling, "Put the knapsack down, remember?" and then you see Jack slip his off. Locke hasn't moved. He does take off his knapsack, and sets it down very carefully. And then he walks toward the noise. Jack glances back just in time to Locke, and he's all, "Locke! What are you doing?" and then he goes back after Locke, which to me is just as foolish.

Locke carefully makes his way through the jungle, an eager look on his face. Mine too, as I start thinking, "Okay, now, finally --" The noisiness continues, but it's some distance from Locke. And then, quiet for a moment or two. Suddenly, a tree right next to Locke is ripped right out of the ground, surprising him, and he falls over onto his back. Lying there, he looks up, and it looks to me like he's seeing something, and there's a sound like some sort of mechanical gears or tread or something. And Locke's face quickly goes from anticipation to terror. Commercials. But we're totally going to see Lostzilla when we come back, right?

This show Dancing With the Stars intrigues me. Because clearly ABC is trying to broadcast a show that no one will watch. If you love dancing, plus you're a big fan of the guy who played J. Peterman on Seinfeld, which went off the air SEVEN YEARS AGO, have we got a show for you!

Locke scrambles to his feet, and takes off running. And meanwhile Jack's running around looking for him, and finally Kate and Hurley seem to have noticed that Jack and Locke are no longer behind them, and Kate goes running back, still with the knapsack of dynamite on her back.

Locke's leg seems to have been caught in some sort of line, as he's upended and then starts getting dragged backward. My eyes start bleeding, I'm squinting so hard to try to see something on the screen. Jack finds the handy-dandy cleared trail of jungle that Locke is being dragged along, and starts chasing after Locke. There's what sounds like some sort of pulley system reeling Locke in, and I still can't for the life of me make out what exactly it is that has Locke by the leg, which is obviously the point. Jack finally makes a leap, and grabs Locke just as Locke gets pulled into a hole. Fortunately, Jack leapt forward yet managed to somehow land in a sitting position to brace his legs against the side of the hole. Locke looks absolutely terrified. Kate runs up, and she's all, "Oh my god!" and Jack tells her to get the dynamite, and she starts to take off her knapsack, and Jack says, "No, no, it's in my pack," and Locke isn't in too imminent danger I guess for Kate not to glare at Jack, and all I can say is it's a damn good thing the dynamite wasn't in your pack, Florence Griffith Joyner. Jack snaps at her to move, and she finally does. And she's back in a fraction of the time that Jack was actually running after Locke, but whatever. And Locke is telling Jack to let him go, and that it'll be all right, and when Kate gets back Jack tells her to throw the dynamite in the hole. There's much arguing, as Locke tells her not to do it, and Jack yells at her some more. Kate finally decides that even if she blows all three of them up, it would at least put an end to Locke and Jack spazzing out. She chucks the dynamite down the hole, and we hear an explosion deep within the hole. And this black smoke erupts out of the ground behind them, gathers for a moment, and then instantly dissipates. They look at it for only a moment, and then pull Locke out of the ground, as whatever had a hold of him no longer seems to. They catch their breath on the ground for a moment, with Jack looking at Locke like, "I can't believe you wanted me to let you go," and Locke looking back like, "You should have let me go."

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