Exodus, Part II

Episode Report Card
Daniel: B | 1 USERS: A+
I was blown up by a pirate ship

So back on Craphole Island, Hurley is repeating the numbers that he's obsessed with eight point three percent of the time. Since it's dark out, they're now carrying torches; so much for hustling back before sundown, I guess. Kate hears him, and asks if he said anything. And she says she thought she heard the number "23" and he asks if that means anything to her, and she contrivedly says that the guy who turned her in to the feds in Australia did it for a $23,000 reward. Sigh. So she hears the number 23 and it makes her think of the reward, which is the most contrived use of a number since Jay-Z got pulled over for driving to fast in an extra-special 54 MPH zone. And the searching for the significance of these very ordinary numbers in the banal minutiae of your everyday life has now spread onto the SHOW ITSELF for God's sake. She asks if the number means anything to him, and he lies and says it doesn't, and then quickens his step so they can catch up to Jack and Locke.

Those two are making their way through the jungle when Jack gets a little too close for Locke's liking, who warns him to move back, but Jack is all tough-guy "if we blow up, we blow up," like NICE ATTITUDE Jack and he wants to know what was up with Locke wanting Jack to let him go, since that thing was going to drag him under. Locke says it wasn't going to hurt him, but Jack doesn't buy it, saying it was going to kill him. "I seriously doubt that," says Locke, who keeps on walking. Jack chases after him, demanding to know what's going on in his head. Locke thinks he was being tested, and the reason why Jack and Locke sometimes don't (or never) see eye-to-eye is Jack is a man of science, and Locke is a man of faith. Oh, yeah, there's a schism coming in the Church of Jack. "Do you really think of all of this is an accident? That we, a group of strangers, survived, many of us with just superficial injuries? Do you think we crashed on this place by coincidence? Especially this place?" Before Jack can say, "Well, yeah, you baldy-headed mystical nonsense-peddler," Locke says that they were brought here, for a purpose, a reason. "Each one of us were brought here for a reason," he says. "Brought here," says Jack. "And who brought us here, John?" Say it with him, people: "The island. The island brought us here." And he goes on to say that Jack was brought here for a reason too, and he babbles on about destiny.

And Jack's thinking the same thing that I was, because he leans in and says, "You talk with Boone, God's Friggin' Gift to Humanity, about destiny?" Locke calmly says, "Boone was a sacrifice that the island demanded." Although he does look as though he's sorry Boone died. He says that Boone's death was part of chain of events that has led them here, blah blah, to this moment. Jack wants to know where the path ends. It ends just as soon as you two SHUT UP AND KEEP MOVING. Locke says the path ends at the hatch, and everything has been leading up to the opening of the hatch. Jack shakes his head. "No, we're opening the hatch so we can survive." "Survival's all relative, Jack," says Locke, and Jack decides to keep walking, saying he doesn't believe in destiny. "Yes you do. You just don't know it yet," says Locke. Man, are you guys as thrilled as I am that they stretched a one-hour episode to two hours by adding a lot of talking and long pointless scenes like Hurley running, instead of answering questions and wall-to-wall action? That's what I figured.

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