Exodus, Part II

Episode Report Card
Daniel: B | 1 USERS: A+
I was blown up by a pirate ship

But before we get too sugary, the boat hits something, or rolls over something, and the rudder gets ripped off, so it might be a while before Walt gets his learner's rafter's licence. And Jin's English studying is apparently proceeding apace, as he starts yelling, "Rudder! Rudder!" and Mercutio screams that they hit a log, and unless that log was part of a cabin, I don't see it getting under the raft and ripping off the rudder. But since this is a two-hour episode (or maybe that should be "too-hour"), we need more "conflict" or "drama" or "shirtless Sawyer" or something, and Jin drops the sail while Sawyer dives in the water and swims after the rudder. And he gets it, like big surprise, and Mercutio throws in a rope so Sawyer can grab the rope and tie it around the rudder, and I'm totally on the edge of my seat here. In fact, I'm so far on the edge of my seat that I've gone for a beer. So Sawyer ties the rope around the rudder which is so big and heavy that it was sinking and yet was ripped right off the boat by the little floating log that got under the raft somehow. And they pull the rudder in and Sawyer gets back on the raft. "You just saved our ass, buddy," says Mercutio, who goes to grab Sawyer's shirt while Sawyer catches his breath on the deck. Which is when Mercutio sees the gun that Sawyer has, which he apparently wrapped up in his shirt before diving into the water. Mercutio wraps the gun back up and glares at Sawyer, hanging him back the shirt/gun, saying, "You better put your shirt back on before you burn." I'd be glad there was a gun on the boat, even without knowing what's coming later. Quick, somebody sing some Marley to get rid of the bad vibes zooming all over the place and they can all get back to bonding.

Back at the Black Rock, Jack is helping Kate put on her backpack, and she apologizes, and he says it's "the luck of the draw," like how weird is it that Kate is apologizing for that anyway. Locke says the sun sets in ninety minutes, give or take, so they have to hustle if they're going to get back to the hatch. Jack says he'll lead, followed by Kate, then Hurley, and Locke will bring up the rear. Locke says they should stagger themselves, keep a safe distance from each other. Jack agrees, and says that if anybody sees or hears anything -- "Like the security system that eats people?" says Hurley, in case the rest of them forgot about that somehow -- then they put the packs down and get the rock out of there. Got it? And Kate says "yes," and Locke says, "Yes, sir," not too pointedly, and maybe even agreeably, but Jack holds his gaze for an extra second, because you know that there's going to be a division at some point and there will people who follow Jack and people who follow Locke. "Let's do this," says Jack, and the four of them carefully start walking. Commercials.

I love that there's a movie out in which Angelina Jolie is apparently in her underwear the entire time and that my wife wants to see it. I mean, I know Brad Pitt's also in it, so it's not like she doesn't get anything out of it, but I think this what they meant in marriage prep classes by "win-win."

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