Lost

Episode Report Card
LuluBates: B- | 1485 USERS: C+
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Diamonds Are A Girl's Best Friend

Forty-eight days ago, Kate, Shannon, and Arzt are arguing on the beach. Nikki and Paolo continue to justify their existence by interrupting and asking what's up. According to Shannon, Kate and her two boyfriends found a case of guns and didn't tell the camp. Arzt tells Kate that they are out of control and that the pigs are walking! Nikki really doesn't care about Orwellian allusions, she just wants to know where they found the case. Paolo and Nikki are at the waterfall and Nikki is trying to convince Paolo to dive in. She tries to convince him by playing nice: "I slept with Howard Zuckerman; the least you can do is dive in." Paolo wants to talk about his feelings some more. He asks if they would even be together if she didn't need help finding the bag. Um, yes, Paolo. You're on a desert island. You would still be together. Paolo dives in and swims around with the dead bodies. He finds the bag, but doesn't tell Nikki, because he loves her so darn much! Ah, romance. Nikki storms off into the woods and Paolo dives back in, presumably to get the goods.

The Losties are gathered around the bodies again. Hurley rambles about the walkie-talkie and working with the Others. Sawyer mentions Michael, but Slow Charlie can't understand why they would kill Nikki and Paolo. Sawyer points out that no one can understand what the Others do; they could be out there right now, waiting to get them all. Hurley says that he was with the Others two weeks ago and that their camp is way on the other side of the Island. Um, Hurley, I think Sawyer was there, too. Sun interjects that if the Others are so far away, then who dragged her into the jungle? Sawyer and Charlie look sheepish because she, like, totally nailed them on this. She spells it out for the viewing audience: the Others came into their camp. They grabbed her and put a bag over her head. They would have killed her. Sawyer quickly changes the subject, saying he is going on a perimeter sweep. He has a gun. He got it from one of the Others and didn't tell anyone. That's fine, but Hurley wants to know what exactly is a perimeter sweep? Hurley, darling, let's not pretend that you didn't spend hours and hours playing America's Army, okay? That figure of yours did not make itself. You totally know what a perimeter sweep is. Charlie asks if they cover up the bodies, and Sun agrees. We are treated to yet another shot of Paolo's wide-open glazed eyes. Thanks, show!

Lost

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