Thirty-eight days ago, Paolo surreptitiously chewed some gum or something and then started to dig a hole. Locke comes up to watch, 'cause who doesn't like an audience? Locke decides to pass on the sage advice that things don't stay buried on this Island. Another Anvil? Good grief. That's it! Sars, Wing! I demand protective headgear! Where's OSHA when you need them? Anyway, Locke is going on about how the beach is eroding and winter is coming and creating high tide. Whatever Paolo wants buried, he should make sure to stick it somewhere it will stay buried. Speaking of which, isn't the cemetery really close to the beach? Doesn't anyone else know about this high tide thing? Will Paolo carry this secret to the grave? Paolo decides to take his Russian dollies to the Pearl for safekeeping. More specifically, the toilet in the Pearl. As he's playing with his dolls, he hears voices. Someone is in the hatch with him! It's Ben and Juliet, dressed in their castaway mufti. Juliet still has Prell hair, though, so the illusion doesn't really work. I quickly take my phone off the hook because I know Mr. Conspiracy Theory will be just dying with this bit.
Ben asks who left the hatch open. Juliet says Tom was there a few days ago. Ben wants Tom to cover the hatch door with the plane. Nice base-covering, writers! Paolo hides in the crapper while Ben and Juliet turn on the Pearl's monitors to spy on the Losties. More specifically, on Shephard. Who is conveniently hanging out directly in front of the surveillance camera that Ben has tuned into. Juliet says Shephard is cute. Ben grimaces at that, puts his index finger and thumb against Shephard's face on the screen, gnashes his teeth, and mutters, "I am crushing your head!" Juliet asks what they are doing there. There's no way that Shephard will agree to do the surgery. Um, yeah. You know, Ben, maybe if you hadn't embarked on a campaign of terror from the get-go and instead had just asked nicely, then why wouldn't Jack help you? He helps everyone. He can't stop himself. That's why he's Saint Jack and you are Evil Ben. Ben says he can convince Jack to do it. He'll do what he always does: find out what Jack is emotionally invested in and exploit it. Juliet barfs a little because obviously this is what Ben did to her. She swallows it and asks, "So we just grab all three of them? Ford and Austin, too?" "No, they have to come to us." "How do we do that?" "Michael, of course." So, wait. If this was the big plan, why didn't they just grab Kate, Sawyer, and Jack when they came out to find Michael? Why did they send them away only to grab them again? Why? Oh, forget it. Pass me another Oly Dark, will ya? I'll just get saucy on the couch. Then I won't care about no stupid answers. Juliet asks if they are we done there because the place gives her the creeps. They leave, and Paolo finally gets out of the can. He finds the walkie-talkie where Ben left it. What a douche for not telling anyone else what he saw! He's a thief and a murderer, but he can't make up a lie to explain what he was doing in the Pearl? Depraved indifference! Where's Jack McCoy when you need him?