Episode Report Card
Cindy McLennan: A+ | 2 USERS: C
I'm So Dizzy My Head Is Spinnin'

Richard wonders why Eloise is going along with Jack's harebrained scheme and why she's acting like it doesn't matter that "these people" just killed one of their men. Eloise says that if "these people" are right about what they're going to do, it won't matter. We cut to Sayid who's getting filled in on said harebrained scheme. Sayid says he's already changed everything by killing Benjamin Linus. He looks so pretty, so crazy, and so darned pleased with himself. I think that LSD hasn't worn off yet, man. Anyhow, his point is that even though he killed Ben, they're all still there. Kate sneers. "That's because you didn't kill him." She explains that she and Sawyer saved him by taking him to the others, because, as she puts it: "Since when did shooting kids and blowing up hydrogen bombs become okay." Jack reiterates that they ended up where they are for a reason and that this is their chance to change things. I don't think Kate wants to change things, honestly. Otherwise her shapely self would be rotting in a prison somewhere stateside, because she would have returned home without a baby and without the sympathy of the nation. Her argument though is that if Jack is wrong, everyone on the island dies. Jack says he's not wrong, because he's Jack and he's never been wrong. Right? Okay, so maybe he needs a refresher. When he trots out the "This is our destiny" line, Kate implies he sounds just like Locke, who Jack used to know was crazy. Kate's out of there. She's going to find the rest of "our people" (read: Sawyer). "Because if I can't stop you, maybe they [he] can."

Dharmaville: Mothers and children exit the Dharma blue VW buses and head toward the sub. We see Charlotte and her mum and then Lara and baby Miles. Adult Miles, Jin and Hurley overhear as Dr. Chang takes a harsh tone with Lara, in order to get her mad enough at him to leave and save her life and baby Miles's. They spot the Dharma-Goons loading Sawyer and Juliet into the sub and adult Miles starts to fret, but Hurley still has faith in Sawyer and assures Miles and Jin that it will be okay. "Sawyer always has a plan." I don't know about that, Hugo. I don't think he's gotten to read in a couple of days now, and it seems almost as long since he's thought about anything, either.

On their way to the sub, Sawyer tries to make Juliet smile with his new plans to be rich and fabulously wealthy, which include buying shares in Microsoft and betting on the Cowboys in the 1978 Super Bowl, because he has a better mind for historical events than Hurley. He apologizes for not getting on the sub with Juliet three years ago. She says she's glad he talked her out of it. Juliet climbs down into the sub, first. Sawyer though, stops dramatically, looks up at the mountains of Craphole and sneers, "Good riddance." We cut to...

The Pond: Richard, Ellie, Jack, and Sayid swim underwater and then through underwater tunnels and it makes me claustrophobic just to think about it, so that's all the detail you're getting, except I'll note that reportedly, Matthew Fox was not too crazy about shooting this scene and I don't blame him. When he emerges, in the tunnels (which look like they're maybe part of the temple) Richard is lighting a torch and I'd really like to know how. I guess somebody left ancient matches? Jack wants to know what's next, so Richard says they're going to get the 12' long, 40,000 pound hydrogen bomb out the same way they got it in and no Jack, you dummy, not through the pool. So, I'm thinking magic science? Oh and yes, you'll note that the pond is a pool, now. Pool. Pond. Pond would be good for you. The cameraman throws in a little something for everyone, as he zooms past Eloise's oh-so-impressive and heaving bosom to a soaking wet Sayid, emerging from the pool. Jack had bid Sayid goodbye before he took his big dive, in case Sayid changed his mind about coming with them, and admits he's surprised to see him now. Sayid figures if Jack's plan works, that's great, and if it kills them all, at least they'll be out of their misery. Hee. I like still-coming-down Sayid. Okay, I like all the Sayids, but can we get started like Ellie wants us to? Thanks.

2007; Camp Richard By-The Sea: Locke, Richard and Ben return to Sun and the waiting Others. Locke's eager to lead everyone on an expedition to Jacob and he's inviting everyone. Richard points out that there's another group at the temple, but Locke will be cool if he can just talk to everyone there and now. He presents himself as the new Lord High King of Craphole and I think I'm going to transcribe the rest of his speech, because he cracks me up.

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