Lost

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Cindy McLennan: A | 1 USERS: A+
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Ben, The Two Of Us Need Look No More

We find Hurley at his new place of employ -- the mess hall. He serves up some waffles and ham to Kate and Jack and advises them to trying the "dipping sauces" which doesn't ring true as a '70s expression, but I digress. Hurley wants to know what's up with Sayid, so Jack tells him that he tried to find out from Sawyer the night before, who only told him to leave him alone and let him do his job. Hurley says, "And you're going to?" Jack just nods and blithely continues eating his breakfast. Oh sure, he's probably waiting for Sawyer to fall spectacularly on his ass, because by not sharing information, he's clearly violating the whole live together; die alone principle, but Jack stopped preaching that sermon after Rose threatened his life. Oh dear, I still miss her and Bernard. I'm going to pretend they don't have anything to learn -- that they just ended up on Craphole so Rose's cancer could be cured, and that they're currently lounging around in some unidentified era, feeding each other mangoes and laughing about Frogurt's death.

Kate says she'll talk to Juliet and see what she'll tell her about Sayid. Hurley then steps in it, by pointing out that Juliet and Sawyer are living-together living together and if Sawyer didn't tell Jack his plan for Sayid, Juliet's probably not going to tell Kate. When Kate suddenly develops a deep interest in the patterns on her waffles, Hurley steps in it even deeper. "You know, together like you guys were?" Jack too becomes enthralled with his breakfast. Hurley though is not only lacking food, he can't find his off-button. "I thought it was kind of obvious.... I mean, who couldn't see that coming?" Jack finally finds the off-button for him, so they can all sit around in awkward silence. Finally Hurley excuses himself and returns to make more waffles. Kate tries to keep her voice light as she asks Jack, "Did you know?" but it is so not convincing anyone, not even Jack, who probably wants to be convinced. He just nods, smiles an empty smile, and says, "Yeah." Kate returns his empty smile and says, "Hmm," but what she really means is "Harumph!"

Sayid's lying in his cell, when someone enters the...what would you call that? An antechamber? I'm not sure that's right, but it sounds cool, so let's. That someone is Linus. Rotten Roger Linus, a.k.a. "Roger Workman," the skeleton Hurley found in the Dharma van, and of course, sire to devil spawn Ben Linus. Right now, he's still got his skin on though, and he's just there to mop up, but while he's going about his business, he can't help but ask Sayid how he could be so dumb as to get caught by "these idiots." He laughs at his own "joke" because no one else is going to. Sayid stares at him. "And yet you're the one who mops up after them." Meow. Roger can't wait until Oldham gets done with Sayid. Just then, wee Ben walks in with yet another sandwich. I've had my full, just watching this episode, thanks. Do they have no donuts? Muffins? Heck, a banana would be a welcome change. Roger is furious that Ben would be bringing a sandwich to a prisoner, so Ben lies that he was bringing it to him (i.e. Roger). Roger's not as stupid as he looks. "You haven't made me a sandwich in your life." At 12, Ben hasn't quite yet perfected the art of lying (too many stammers), so Roger doesn't buy his lame excuses, and grabs the boy, so violently that Sayid rises to his feet, despite himself. Roger then slams Ben into the cell door, and gets Ben to admit that he made the sandwich for Sayid on his own, without being told by anyone. Roger tosses Ben of the antechamber, glares at Sayid, throws his sandwich across the floor he's just mopped (so maybe he is as dumb as he looks), and storms off, leaving the mop and bucket behind. Sayid can probably MacGyver that shit into a wrecking ball and smash door-sized hole in the side of his cell. But he doesn't. He just closes his eyes, and thinks of chickens. And we cut to...

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Lost

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