Previously on Lost: Ethan kidnapped Claire. That's bad. Ethan beat up Jack. That's good! Eth-- wait, that's it? Thirty-six seconds of previouslys? That shit ain't fair. You watch 24, you get like two whole minutes of previouslys. That might not sound like a lot, but for a recapper, that's friggin' ages. Two minutes of previouslys, then a car chase, and you're into commercial, and five minutes at your desk and you're a quarter of the way done. Odds aren't too likely that I'm getting a car chase on Lost any time soon. Maybe in a flashback? These are the things I wish for.

We open with Locke carrying Claire through the cave camp, yelling for Jack. Everyone else is kind of yelling and getting in the way, which I'm sure Claire appreciates. Does Walt really need to be there? Is he going to help? Will attracting polar bears to the camp help somehow? Locke hands Claire off to Jack, who lays her down on his operating slab or whatever, and for those of you who were wondering, or those of you thoroughly convinced there was no longer a bun in the oven, Claire is still very much pregnant. (Or she's really really retaining water and I'm quite the insensitive clod.) People are still crowding and yelling things like "Is she all right?" like BACK OFF ALREADY, which Jack finally makes them do and Locke tells him that Claire collapsed in his arms.

Let's just figure that Charlie understood that Jack's order for everyone to back off applied to everyone but him, because he's right up there staring at Claire. Jack tries to bring Claire around by applying a cold cloth to her face and gently talking to her. Eventually, she does come around, sees Jack -- and starts to scream. Man, I've been there, pal. Claire freaks out, despite Charlie trying to soothe her by telling her she's safe. She stares at him, frightened. "Who are you?" she says. Charlie's stunned. So am I. When the hell was the last time amnesia worked as a plot device? I can't remember. Ha! She looks around at the group. "Who are you? Who are you people?" she screeches. Commercials.

The women in the Victoria's Secret commercials seem rather surprised by their own breasts. What, these old things? Shucks. Where's Bob Dylan?

Perhaps I shouldn't have complained so much about not getting a lot of previouslys, because I get a bunch now, in the form of everybody bringing the amnesia victim up to speed, and I get the irritating sense that Claire's amnesia is a plot device to answer questions for new viewers. She remembers being on a plane from Sydney to L.A. So her memory cuts out right before the season premiere, then. She remembers nothing, and doesn't know any Ethan, apparently.