Later that night, Sun is sitting by herself in a candlelit pagoda, staring out at the water. Below her, unseen to us, thousands of blind koi, driven mad by hunger, amass, ready to attack. Luckily for Sun, Jin comes by and the nefarious plans of the koi are thwarted...for now. I feel a special affinity for koi because they're one of the primary results that come up when I Google my actual last name, Kois. A recent such search yielded:
1. A few pages having to do with my own writing or performing.
2. Endless pages about koi ponds, koi gardens, and koi care supplies.
3. The website of the Korean Overseas Information Service, an organization devoted to disseminating information about Korea and Koreans around the world.
4. Pages referring to Kois v. Wisconsin, the obscenity case my Uncle John successfully fought all the way to the Supreme Court in 1972.
5. The unbelievably awesome German rock band Kois Revenge. "Daneben haben wir auch Spass daran, Klassiker wie zum Beispiel Puff the magic dragon, My heart will go on, Jumpin' Jack Flash zu covern, sie unserem Sound anzupassen."
6. My Internet double, Dan Kois of Concordia University in Nebraska, whose sweet girlfriend (or psycho ex-girlfriend) Lydia used part of her web page to discuss how awesome he is. I think they both graduated a long time ago. The other Dan Kois used to run his college's branch of Campus Clowns for Christ.
I feel sorry for people with common last names, like my attractive lawyer wife or my friend Denny who speaks Korean. Common last names make self-Googling impractical. I choose to ignore, of course, the fact that self-Googling is perhaps the most narcissistic thing a person can do that doesn't involve actually humping a mirror.