Lost

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Cindy McLennan: A | Grade It Now!
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Double Your Fun
re their conversation, I think it's safe to assume that the year is 2007 in the Island Reality. Yoko says something. Lennon looks to him and asks, "You sure?" Yoko turns his back. Lennon nods to the Templars. "Shoot 'em." They take aim. Everyone starts yelling things like, "Wait," and "No," like you do when a bunch of Ren Faire Hippies are going to shoot you. Finally, Hurley puts on his thinking cap. "JACOB SENT US." Lennon translates: "What did you just say?" Hurley repeats himself and adds, "He said you would help our friend." Lennon translates: "Prove it." Hurley hems and haws. Yoko says something. Hurley yells and points. "HE GAVE ME THAT GUITAR CASE!" A Templar lays it at Yoko's feet. Lennon translates: "Did you look inside it?" Hurley shifts his eyes. "Maybe?" Yoko opens the case and finds a big, wooden...ankh. Now, I totally want an ankh-shaped guitar. Yoko lifts up the ankh, inspects it, and raises both it, and a knee. Hurley shouts out, "DUDE!" but he's too late. Crack. Yoko breaks the ankh over his knee. He reaches inside the shaft and pulls out a note and reads. Lennon translates: "What are your names?" "Hugo. Hugo Reyes." He nods at his companions. "Tell him." In turn, each character says his/her name. Lennon points at Sayid and translates: "What about him." Jack answers, "Sayid Jarrah." Yoko says something else and stalks off toward the temple. Lennon tells the Templars to pick up Sayid and get him to the spring. It's then that Hurley comes to life. "Hey. Excuse me. I carried that case across the ocean, and like...through time. I wanna know what that paper says." While Yoko stops in the temple doorway, Lennon walks back to Hurley. "The paper said that if your friend there dies, we're all in a lot of trouble." He scurries back to Yoko's side and we cut to commercial.

L.A. Reality: A customs agent opens the jewelry box which contains the watch Jin is to deliver for Mr. Paik, except it doesn't; that's a different watch, right? Did the little button enforcement officer switch watches? Jin can't answer any of the custom official's questions, which isn't really a problem until he starts searching Jin's bag and comes across a metric assload of cash. He tells Jin, who doesn't speak English, that anything over ten thousand dollars must be declared. When Jin can't answer, he holds up Jin's declaration form and speaks slowly as if that's the key to language translation. Jin still can't answer on account of not learning English in the last 15 seconds. In Korean, Sun asks him what he's doing with the cash, but he snarls at her to let him handle everything. Customs hauls Jin in for questioning, which, you know, Jin isn't going to understand. The female officer approaches Sun to escort her to the waiting area. "Ms. Paik [Editor's Note: Not Mrs. Kwon -- Mindy], do you understand any English?" I think she does, but who knows in this reality? Her expression could be one of, "I'm going to keep playing dumb until the Buttoneer is off my trail," or it could be, "No English." The customs officer tells Sun that if she can speak in Jin's defense and if this is all a mistake, she should speak up now. "Do you understand me?" Sun says, "No..." A beat. "...English." Her pants BURST into flames. Okay, I realize she may not speak English in this reality, but that smells like a lie to me.

Island Reality; Temple: Lennon, Yoko and the Templars carry Sayid and lead the rest of the Losties through the island temple's rough equivalent of the Court of the Gentiles. When they enter the temple proper, Lennon and Yoko eye the spring-fed pool with alarm, and Lennon notes the water isn't clear. "What happened?" Clearly, that pollution is all that's left of Ben Linus's innocence, my dears. Well, that's my theory, anyhow. Yoko's answer is in Japanese, and a mystery to us. Honestly, the pool looks like it's full of tea that steeped too long, and that's me being considerate of your tummies. Yoko descends the staircase that leads into the pool and stops just above the water line. There, he draws out his knife and drags it across the palm of his hand -- slicing it open. At first, I thought his magical blood was going to cleanse the pool or something -- but when he dips his hand in, nothing happens. And that's the point. Nothing happens to his hand, either -- including no healing. It looks like the spring has suddenly lost its healing abilities. Lennon translates that Yoko wants to know who "did this" to Sayid. Jack says that although he didn't shoot Sayid, it's his fault. No, Jack. It's Roger Linus's fault. Yoko approaches Jack. Lennon translates to Jack that it's a risk to put Sayid into the spring. Jack tells them to do what they have to do. Kate and Jin are incredulous, but Jack is back to being one cool customer, like he was shortly after Ajira 316 dumped his ass back in 1977. I like.

The Templars strip the Dharma coveralls off Sayid. His tank top is pulled down over his gut wound which just seems weird to me. There are stains on his shirt and pants, but shouldn't he be bloodier? No matter. Now they're submerging Sayid. Hurley asks Jack if unconscious people can hold their breath. Jack tells him, "no" and then Sayid starts to struggle. Jack tries to call them off. Kate tries to call them off. Sayid kicks and bucks for his very life. Nobody lets him up. Yoko considers the Days Of Our Lives-ish hourglass that he turned over at the start of this drowning exercise and says nothing. Finally, Jack closes in on Yoko, yelling, "Hey, let him up!" Yoko karate-chops him in the throat; Jack falls to the floor. Like sands through the hour glass, so is the death of Sayid.

Hurley tries to call them off. Sayid struggles and struggles...until he can struggle no more. The hour glass completes its course. The Templars remove Sayid from the pool. With his arms still outstretched, Sayid is the Christ-figure. They lay him down on a rug, and his arms lie back at his side. Yoko examines him and is, perhaps, the only one in the room surprised to find he draws no breath. Lennon translates: "Your friend is dead." Jack (who doesn't seem to be crying, yet), Kate, Jin and Hurley look on, heartbroken, but Jack decides to try something -- anything. He kneels down beside Sayid, and wearing an expression that looks like he's about to orgasm (or vomit; note to self: don't sex up Jack), he administers CPR to Sayid, but it does nothing. Finally, Kate talks him down. Jack sinks down into his kneel, and... is he playing with Sayid's nipple? No matter -- that doesn't rouse him, either. Commercial.

L.A. Reality: At the baggage carousel, we catch a quick glimpse of Sayid mooning over Nadia's picture. Arzt comes up and eyes him suspiciously because he's an Iraqi, but Sayid's bags have come 'round, so he grabs them and takes off. Kate darts in and out of the crowd. She spies an airline employee entering through a "No Entry -- Authorized Personnel Only" doorway. She memorizes the code the employee enters on the keypad, and while watching the cops and security agents out of the corner of her eye, Kate does the same. She makes it through the airport and out to the pick-up area. When she heads for a waiting cab, who should stop her but Frogurt. "I don't think so, lady. There's a line." We can tell Kate's still redeemable, because she refrains from pointing out to him that he will never, ever get laid.

Kate spies Hurley talking on his cell phone and kind of hides behind him as she keeps an eye open for cabs. Hurley's having a magnate-type conversation about how "they" can't own the word Outback which is pretty funny; he also mentions not getting the Tustin inventory, yet. From her hiding spot, Kate looks around and sees Edward Mars giving orders to various types of officers. She looks the other way, but then looks back, just as Mars turns his head in her direction. Their eyes meet for a second, but then Kate runs and darts through the crowd as Mars yells, "HEY!" She finds a cab and ju

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