What in the world was that? Don't get me wrong -- I gobbled it up like candy, but summarizing it is well beyond my ken. What's more, it's my birthday, so you're getting it quick and dirty tonight, my friends. Just like Juliet. Ahem...
The episode begins with Sawyer, Miles, Juliet and Jin where we last saw them -- above the well to the donkey wheel chamber, but as we saw three weeks ago, the well is gone, and Sawyer's trying to steady a rope that's coming straight up out of the ground. After Juliet calms Sawyer down, Miles notices a statue in the distance. From the rear, it looks like it could be Horus -- this must be Four-Toes, yeah? They cut to the scene with Locke pushing the donkey wheel, but Christian's notably absent. Cut back to Sawyer and crew who experience a FLASH they liken to an earthquake. When they spool down, the well is back, but it's been filled in. Jin wants to know what they should do now. Sawyer says they'll wait for Locke as long as it takes. Miles and Juliet notice their headaches are gone and their noses have stopped bleeding (ditto for Sawyer) and credit the now-gone Locke for "stopping it."
Three years later (1977): at the Pearl Station (I think) two security guards and a woman watch as a drunken man starts blowing up trees with dynamite out by the pylons. The guards hustle the woman out and head out to tell LaFleur, who's not just the Dharma Initiative's Chief of Security -- he's also SAWYER! Sawyer picks up Miles (Enos) and goes out and rescues the drunken man -- Horace Goodspeed -- and brings him home to Amy (not to Olivia, who isn't even mentioned in this episode). Amy and Horace had a fight earlier about "Paul," but while Horace is passed out on the couch and Amy tries to explain this all to Sawyer, she goes into labor.
Three years earlier (1974): Sawyer, Juliet, Miles and Jin find Daniel in the jungle, saying, "Not gonna tell her. Won't do it. Not gonna tell her. Won't do it." The gang finally gets him to spill that Charlotte died and then disappeared, but Daniel's a pretty broken puppy at this point, so that's all they get from him. Making their way to the beach, the Strand-aways come upon a murder in progress. Two Others have killed a Dharma man (Paul) and are about to kill the Dharma woman with him (Amy) so Sawyer confronts them, and then Juliet and he take them out. She totally has his back. The woman freaks and says they have to bury the Others to preserve the truce. Sawyer and crew help and then they carry Paul's corpse back to Old New Otherton. When they reach the pylons, Amy pretends to turn off the sonar fence, and walks through it, but she's wearing earplugs. When they try to walk through, they're rendered unconscious. When Sawyer wakes, Horace questions him about his presence on the island, and informs him that he and his friends will be deported via submarine to Tahiti, first thing in the AM. Then Richard Alpert comes to camp, which triggers alarms everywhere -- probably a good idea. Horace tries to fake him out that he doesn't know anything about any Others, but Sawyer talks to Richard straight, explains he killed Richard's men in self-defense, and when they're alone, he drops little buzz phrases like "Where did you bury the Jughead bomb," and "I'm waiting for John Locke." He talks Richard into maintaining the truce, but has to hand Paul's corpse over to him, as a way to satisfy Richard's people for the losses they've suffered. Amy doesn't like it, but she goes along with it, because it's what Paul would have wanted. She removes a wooden cross or ankh pendant from his neck. Horace then tells Sawyer he and his people can stay two weeks until the sub after the next sub. Juliet wants to leave now, but Sawyer talks her into staying the two weeks, because otherwise, who's going to have his back? Aw.
Three years later (1977): there's no time to take Amy off-island in the sub to deliver, which is usual island protocol, so Sawyer drags Juliet out of retirement (she seems to be working as a mechanic right now) because Amy needs a C-section. Although Juliet is loath to deliver another baby on Craphole, just to have it and its mother die, Sawyer lets her know how much he believes in her, and she gives it a go. The baby and mother both survive the birth. Hurray! Meanwhile, Jin updates Sawyer that Grid 133 is complete and there's still no sign of "our people." And Daniel spies wee toddler Charlotte. She waves to him, and he breaks a little bit more.
After stopping by to see Juliet, and giving her a flower and some pretty nice smoochies, and after exchanging I love yous with her (!!!), Sawyer goes to see Horace, who is sleeping it off. He wakes him to tell him the good news is he's a daddy and the bad news is he missed the birth. He wonders why Horace and Amy were fighting over Paul. Horace ran across Paul's ankh in one of their drawers and he realized it's only been three years since Paul died. He asks Sawyer if that's long enough to get over someone. Sawyer tells him about the thing he had for this girl once. He had a shot at her but didn't take it. For a long while, he laid in bed at night, wondering if he made a mistake and could ever stop thinking about her. Three years later? He can barely remember what she looks like. She's just gone and ain't never coming back. So yeah, Sawyer thinks three years is absolutely enough time to get over someone. Ha ha ha. Just you wait, Jimmy my boy.
The next morning, Sawyer and Juliet lie in bed. She's shirtless and he's not, and what's up with that, Show? Please note that she's spooning him -- so even in her sleep she has his back. The phone rings, so Sawyer wakes and gets it. We hear Sawyer say, "Wait. What? No! Don't bring 'em in. Just meet me in the north valley." He hangs up. Juliet wants to know who called, so Sawyer just says that it was Jin, and everything's okay, he just has to go. He drives a Jeep out to meet Jin. Hurley gets out of the passenger seat. Then we see Jack. Sawyer takes off his glasses and finally, she walks out from behind Hurley. It's Kate. And from the look on Sawyer's face, I'm pretty sure he remembers every freckle. DUN! Bad robot.
Sawyer and the Strand-aways con their way into the Dharma Initiative and wackiness ensues. ...And heartache, terror, and of course, confusion. Seriously, with all the jumps back and forth in this episode, I feel like it should come with a warning -- like the kind you see on carnival rides.
Attention Riders: Due to the nature of this ride, backpacks, purses and other loose items are not permitted. Glasses must be secured. If you have a history of recent surgery, heart trouble/high blood pressure, inner ear infection, neck trouble, back trouble, or any other condition that may be aggravated by riding, or if you are pregnant, you should consult your physician before boarding. TWoP is not responsible for lost items. Keep all parts of your body inside ride unit at all times. Shirts are required on all rides. Unless you are James Sawyer. Ahem. Now, let's see what it's all about.
Previously on Lost: Sawyer bitch-slaps Daniel, then orders him to talk. Daniel says they should think of the island as a record on a turntable and now that record is skipping. Whatever Ben did at the Orchid Station must have dislodged them... from time. Sawyer yells in frustration. Charlotte cries and collapses. There's a ginormous flash which leaves Charlotte at death's door. Daniel grimaces -- I think that's his grimace of grief. Locke tells everyone they have to go back to the Orchid. He says this is all happening because of everyone who left the island. He thinks if he can get them back, it will stop, and he name-checks Kate, just to get Sawyer's attention. At the well where the Orchid will one day be, Locke lowers himself down, and while he's descending, there's a flash. Sawyer holds onto the rope for dear life, but Locke falls...
The boundary between the previouslies and tonight's episode is a little muddy. Everything with Locke happens the same. He breaks his leg and makes his way to the frozen donkey wheel. The only difference is that we cannot see Christian Shephard this time, and Locke is never shown speaking to him. Above ground, after the flash, the well is gone, but Sawyer continues to hold the rope (which leads into solid earth) until Miles points out the current situation and says, "I think you can let go of that now." Sawyer tries to dig out Locke with his bare hands, but Juliet talks sense into him. They're wondering when they are and figure it's sometime before the well was built. Miles catches sight of something in the distance then adds, "Way before." The object of his attention seems to be the rear end of old Four Toes, but he's no longer just a paw. From the rear, the statue seems like it could be one of Horus.