Kate wakes up in the jungle. She is disoriented and confused. She stares at a palm tree. When she tries to move her hand, she realizes that she is still handcuffed. Handcuffed to Juliet! WTF? Yep, Juliet, Her Royal Otherness, is handcuffed to Kate and still unconscious. Kate is not amused. I think I saw a porn with this plot.
Sawyer took Hurley's advice and is trying to make amends. By smiling. What a plan! Who is your campaign strategist? Sawyer is on the beach, fishing and smiling. Unfortunately, the target of his smile is Sun who smiles for a second, then remembers that Sawyer had masterminded her kidnapping, and so she turns her smile upside down and glares at him. Sawyer realizes that he's not going to win the Korean vote. Don't worry, Sawyer. I'm sure James Carville will be parachuting onto the Island just in time for sweeps week. Well, him or Phyllis Diller. Despite being a complete doofus, Sawyer manages to catch a fish. Gutting it however is beyond this particular hillbilly who apparently did not grow up anywhere near a crick. Sawyer uses the fish gutting gone awry as a learning experience. He runs up to Hurley (who is doing his laundry) and announces that he wants to get voted Island Body President and that he wants Hurley to be his campaign manager. Does anyone know where to get buttons made on this Island? Hurley sniffs at this. He then tells Sawyer that he stinks. "What is that fish? Did you try to gut a fish yourself? How can you not know how to do that yet? We've been on this Island, like, three months." Thanks, Hurley, I was wondering the same thing myself. Before Hurley will help him, he makes Sawyer apologize for calling him rotund. Sawyer smirks, says he is sorry, and then ruins it all by saying Hurley is worse than a girl.
Speaking of girls, Kate and Juliet are still handcuffed together. Juliet remains unconscious, so Kate takes the opportunity to survey the situation. She spies a pocketknife in Juliet's pocket. Um, Kate? Are you sure that's a pocketknife? What if she's just happy to see you? Kate grabs the knife, but as she flicks it open, Juliet wakes up and grabs her hand. Because Juliet is a ninja. Juliet wants to know what the hell she is doing here. Kate says she doesn't know but wants to know what she is doing there. Frankly, sometimes with this show I want to know what I am doing here. Kate says she doesn't know anything, so why doesn't Juliet let go of her wrist? Juliet lets go, and Kate sets upon her handcuff with the knife. Kate wants to know what the hell happened. Juliet says she was making a cup of tea when a canister came flying in. Was it chamomile tea? 'Cause that shit can knock you out. Kate wants to know what Juliet did to piss them off. Juliet ignores the question and instead starts harping on the fact that the knife is too big to work on the handcuffs and what they need is a bobby pin or something. Juliet, does Kate look like the bobby pin wearing type to you? The girl hasn't showered in, like, two months. You really think she has a bobby pin? You girls are wacky! Kate stares at her and announces that they are going back. Juliet can't believe it, "They did this to us. Why would we go back?" Kate glares at her and spits out, "You say 'they' like you didn't lock me in a cage and watch me break rocks all day." Which is true, but weren't there a lot worse things happening like Sawyer almost dying? Isn't that worse than rock breaking? Kate continues, "We're going back to your village because my friends were probably gassed just like we were. Besides, they're gone. I saw them pack up." Juliet looks confused, "Gone? Gone where?" Kate explains that Locke came in to say goodbye and to tell her that they were going somewhere. "So welcome to the wonderful world of not knowing what the hell is going on!" Oh writers! You do understand our plight! I knew all our prayers and supplications and offerings would pay off. And the daily chicken sacrifices to the four-toed statue? All worth it! Because you understand our pain and you will provide answers, right? Right? Right? Sigh.