It's the middle of the night, and Kate is crouched down poking the dirt. Juliet asks the question we are all harboring: what the heck is she doing? Kate stands up and announces that whoever dragged them out there left a trail, and they can follow it back to camp. Juliet is not interested and, just like my dog, pulls way back on her leash, I mean, cuff, so that Kate can't move forward. She says, "It's going to rain. Don't you think we should wait until morning?" Kate glares, says "No," and drags Juliet forward. They walk for a minute before Kate has to ask why. "Why would they handcuff you to me and then drag us out into the jungle?" Juliet explains that Ben has a thing for mind games. Kind of like the guy in Saw, I guess. Kate wants to know if that is why they left her behind. Juliet doesn't want to talk about it. In fact, she doesn't want to talk at all. Kate agrees, but just then the long-awaited Island monsoon season starts. The girls run smack into a Girls Gone Wild wet t-shirt contest. Totally hot!! How could these soaking wet hotties set themselves apart from the field and bring home the gold in this contest? Girl fight! Juliet starts out with a zinger: "I hope you're not dragging me all the way back for him." Kate can't believe she's going there, but Juliet won't let up. She wants to win! "I hope you're not going back for Jack, because I was standing right there when he told you not to come back. And now that you ruined his chance to get off the Island... " Kate gets into the spirit of the contest and nails Juliet in the face. Of course, since they are handcuffed together so she goes down too. Gotta love physics in action! The girls make themselves serious medal contenders as they wrestle in some hot, wet, girl-on-girl action for the mens. The mens love this sort of thing, apparently. Juliet uses her ninja skills to get in a few good punches, but Kate knocks her down and climbs on top of her. Money shot! She asks Juliet if she's done, but Juliet just moans. How does a nice Catholic schoolgirl end up in situations like this, Kate? Kate tugs at Juliet some more and realizes that she may have actually hurt her. Her apology is cut short by the Sounds of Impending Monsterdom. Kate looks around frantically trying to find the source. Juliet stops moaning long enough to ask what the hell that noise is? I think it's the Island finding this scene totally HOT! Kate looks wet and stunned and smokin' hot. Joe Francis is dying to get his hands on these outtakes. Kate snaps to attention and yells at Juliet to get up. Juliet is still moaning because Kate dislocated her shoulder. Kate really doesn't care, pulls Juliet up, and starts running. The crashing monster sounds chase the girls through the woods, but when they hide in the roots of tree, the monster stops. The girls crouch low, trying to avoid detection, when the monster whips out its Canon Elph and snap photos of Juliet. After it captures its precious memory, the monster retreats. Mr. Conspiracy Theory is sending me smoke signals that this definitely means the monster recognized Juliet and backed off. I think it means the monster is a scrapbooker. It's the fastest growing hobby on the Island! Juliet asks if they are safe and Kate says, "You tell me."
It is night on the beach and the fire is roaring. Hey who is that blonde chick? She looks vaguely familiar. Oh, hi Claire! I totally forgot you lived here! Still in the same house? Aaron started pre-school yet? Love what you've done with your tent. Well, see you around! Sawyer and Hurley are engaging in the Losties' favorite activity: Lurking. They are standing off to the side, watching Claire. Not at all creepy guys! Sawyer announces that he is not kissing any babies. As his campaign manager, Hurley is impassive. He tells Sawyer that no matter how distasteful he finds it, Claire is very influential on the Island. If she votes to keep him, then he's in. Sawyer doesn't understand why Claire wouldn't vote for him, and Hurley is forced to point out that while Sawyer has never done anything to Claire, he has never done anything for her either. He's surly and sarcastic and hoards all the medicine. People don't really like him. So he needs to go over there, say something nice about her baby, call her Claire, and then give her this. Hurley hands him a blanket. Sawyer sighs and heads off. Can't you just imagine Newt Gingrich's campaign manager giving him the exact same pep talk? "Look, Newt, people don't like you. So I don't care how much you hate babies -- if you want to win this election you have to pretend! The soccer mom vote is very influential! So play nice and give them something!" Sawyer approaches her lean-to and tentatively says, "Hello Claire. Hello baby." The baby starts wailing, just proving that babies are stupid. Wasn't it just two weeks ago that only Sawyer's voice would lull him to sleep? Stupid baby! Sawyer looks even more nervous and quickly corrects himself by saying, "Aaron. Hi Aaron." Claire looks suspicious and asks if there is anything she can do for him. Sawyer says no and that he just came over to say that her baby is not as wrinkly as it was a few weeks ago. Claire laughs at the shell of a man who used to be the best con artist in America. Sawyer hands her the blanket and says good night. He looks to Hurley for reassurance and is rewarded with a big thumbs up. Oh Sawyer, is the sun slowly fricasseeing your brain? What was that? How did you ever con anyone ever?