Lost
Live Together, Die Alone

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Daniel: B | Grade It Now!
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If you don't know Des by now, you will never, never, never know him.

Kate opens one of the canisters, and flips through the notebook inside. "It's handwritten. It's all filled, the whole book. They're journal entries." Sawyer finds, folded on top, the map that Locke scribbled and put in the tub, and it didn't blow away or anything. He doesn't know what it is or anything, but still feels the need to show it to Jack. Meanwhile, Kate reads from one of the notebooks: "0400: S.R. moves ping-pong table again. 0415: Takes a shower." What is this?" Early morning hatch redecoration and 4 AM showers? What kind of madness was going on in Swan station?

Meanwhile, Sawyer's looking off in the distance, and he asks Jack what he said Sayid's signal would be "when the coast is clear to hit that beach party," like Sawyer can't ever talk normally not even once. We see, somewhere beyond some hills, the column of black smoke that would totally give the Lostaways away. And does this mean that Sawyer couldn't remember "black smoke" as a signal? Remind me never to go to war with Sawyer. "That's miles from here," grumps Jack, and he stomps over to Michael and asks, "Where were you taking us?" Michael pretends to have no idea what Jack's talking about, and Jack says, "Sayid said that he'd light the signal so that we could meet him at the shore. Why aren't we going to the beach?" Michael says they are. "We're nowhere near the beach!" yells Jack. "Look, I had to," says Michael, and Jack is all outraged that Michael apparently tricked them again, but Jesus, how goddamn stupid is Jack anyway?

So let's see if I can piece together this "plan": Sayid goes ahead to see how many people are in the village, and if the coast is clear, then he fires up some black smoke into the air, so the Lostaways can meet him in the...empty village? Which won't be empty for long because the black smoke will COMPLETELY GIVE THEM AWAY? And Jack's end of the plan was to: not tell Sawyer, Hurley and Kate about Michael leading them into a trap. And then, when the cat's out of the bag, the plan was TO LET MICHAEL LEAD THEM INTO THE TRAP? I just...I mean, come ON! You guys completely deserve what's about to happen to you, after the Others do that annoying whispers thing that gives the Lostaways all a chance to point their guns into the jungle, even though they can't see anything.

And then, Sawyer gets a dart in the neck and immediately begins convulsing. After the initial shock, Kate and Jack decide their silly pistols are no match for invisible blowguns and start running for the woods. See ya, Sawyer! Hurley completely turtles, but I guess, spry or not, if the Others can snipe Sawyer like that, Hurley ain't gonna be the hardest target to hit. Kate gets a dart in the shoulder, so Jack grimaces and just fires his gun blindly into the jungle ahead of them, before picking Kate up and throwing her over his shoulders. And he gets it in the leg. He struggles forward as best he can before collapsing on the ground. And the last thing he sees are the Others coming for them with ropes and hoods. Hey, Jack, maybe you should explain your plan to them. Your plan is so fucking simple, I'm sure they'd fucking understand it. That's the beauty of it, Jack.

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Lost

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