Man Of Science, Man Of Faith

Episode Report Card
Daniel: B+ | 1 USERS: A
Desmond's got a gun

Suddenly, a distant explosion reverberates through the place (and here's where I got it), sending the phonograph's needle skittering across the record, sounding like every crap radio ad ever. Eyeball Kid, startled, puts the injection gun away, puts on some clothes and boots, and opens a combination lock on a cupboard full of killing-people guns and loads up a rifle or two. He turns some knobs on a hi-fi-looking thing and races to some bazooka-looking apparatus hanging on the ceiling that he unhooks and points down the hallway, putting his eye to one end. He flicks switches. We see camera lenses whirr and tilt, and we cut back and forth, seeing that the lenses and mirrors are leading through a maze of corridors of pipes and cement, leading to a mirror propped up at the bottom of a dingy pit. Reflected in that mirror tilted upward is a light, and we slowly zoom in to the mirror, then draw upwards, ten, twenty, fifty feet or more, where we turn around and see Jack and Locke, holding a torch, staring in bafflement down into the blackness of the blow-open hatch. Well-played, Lost. Well-played.

Back at the hatch, Hurley is quietly losing his shit. He's repeating those annoying numbers over and over again -- 4, 8, 15, 16, 23, 42 -- and then adding little gloomy predictions between each of them. "Four, eight, we're doomed, fifteen, doomed, dead," that sort of thing. How nice to have his sunshiny self around. Kate asks if he's okay, but I think she was only doing that to shut him up. Hurley says he's fine but he just has to pee. What's he waiting for? There's a whole jungle there. And he keeps repeating his numerical mantra, but it's not going to replace "Two, four, six eight, who do we appreciate?" in cheerleading routines any time soon.

So Kate crouches down with Locke and Jack, who are still peering down the hatch-hole. "What is it?" she asks. "Doesn't matter what it is," says Jack, who's being a bit of a hatch-hole himself. Getting to his feet, he gripes that they blew the door off so they could get everyone inside, but that's not going to work, as they'll never get everyone down there in time (remember, the Others are coming). Locke seems to have taken no heed of this exchange, and grabs a nearby rock and drops it down the hole. The resulting splash (but one that sounds shallow, as if in a puddle) happens quickly, so he and Kate estimate the depth is forty feet, fifty tops. Locke excitedly says that they could use wire pulled from the plane's fuselage to rig up a harness. (Michelle Rodriguez's name appears on the screen in the credits, but she does not appear tonight. Was this supposed to be a two-hour premiere?) Jack interrupts to tell MacGyver here that they're leaving now, earning a vote of approval from Hurley. Locke protests that everybody went through a lot to get here not to find out what's inside, in what could be a nod to fans annoyed by the ending of last season. "The ladder's broken," says Jack, who says everyone's waiting back at the camp to be told what to do. God complex. He asks if Locke's planning to lower forty people down one by one, but before Locke can even say, "Well, I guess," Jack just snaps that they should forget about harnesses. Kate interrupts with a "Jack?" and he snaps out a "what?" at her, but she doesn't add anything. Locke suggests everyone just calm down, and by "everyone" he clearly means "Jack," but Jack's on a roll, telling Locke that if he wants to go exploring in the morning, he's welcome to do so, "but tonight, we're done." He says he's going to retrieve the dynamite they didn't use and they're going to head back to the caves. "So how about you pack it up, John?" finishes Jack in a flourish of finger-pointing self-righteousness. Locke just stares at him in disbelief for a moment. Kate and Hurley await Locke's response, which I'm hoping is of the "you're not the boss of me" variety, but Locke finally just says, "Sure, of course," although it looks like he doesn't think so and is only agreeing because now's not the time to nail his 95 theses to the middle of Jack's sanctimonious forehead. Jack looks sort of pleased, sort of relieved that Locke agreed, and turns away. "Why don't you want to go down there, Jack?" asks Locke. Jack turns back around and glares at him.

We flashjack to a hospital emergency room, with a "female, late twenties, no ID" being wheeled in on a stretcher. She's bringing a huge jagged piece of metal with her, but since that metal is embedded in her stomach, she might not have had much choice. She "coded" twice on the way over, apparently. "Where's the other one?" asks one of the admitting doctors, and is told by a paramedic that they're coming right behind, and that the fire department had to "use the jaws." I guess growing up watching medical dramas means a certain expectation that viewers know the lingo. I don't watch ER or House or anything, and even I got it.

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