The group's facilitator or counsellor or whatever looks at him coolly. For a brief second I excitedly thought she was played by Frances McDormand with a blonde wig, but alas. She asks if Locke's got something to say. No, he'd prefer to sit there and snicker, thank you. The facilitator presses further, saying Locke has been coming here for a week now, so he finally says that he doesn't think that thirty dollars is worth getting upset about, and when the facilitator starts to say "Francine feels like thirty dollars..." Locke interrupts her with, "Francine feels a little too much, if you ask me. You all do." Yeah, Francine. You sit down. Put on your "well, I never!" face if you must, but sit down. Locke then outlines his endorsement of Denis Leary's "shut the fuck up!" form of therapy, mocking the other participants' various complaints. We see Katey Sagal try to hide a smile. Oh, Katey Sagal. Yeah, that's better than Frances McDormand. Locke trumps the "so-and-so never called me back" with "Hey, I never even KNEW my parents!" and wins the hand outright with "my real father pretended to love me just long enough to steal my kidney!" It gets even more complainy, with Locke saying his father dropped him back out in the world like a piece of trash, "just like he did on the day I was born." Francine is now looking like, "Okay, I guess losing thirty dollars isn't so bad," but Locke is shouting by this point. "You want your damn thirty dollars back? I want my kidney back." He sits back in his chair.
Outside the meeting, Locke struggles in vain to light a cigarette, because when your dad stole your kidney, you can't even use a lighter properly, that's how much your life will suck. He throws the cigarette away in frustration. Katey strolls up to him, and I have to confess that I didn't recognize her, given that her hair was piled on top of her head, and she didn't have one giant eye, and she...um...all right, I've never seen Eight Simple Rules for Pretending Our Show Will Go On After John Ritter Dies, so I can't complete that sentence. It was when she started to speak that I knew who she was. She says tossing the cigarette is a good idea, because if he gets kidney cancer, he's only got the one. "That's funny," he says.
They start to walk, and Locke apologizes for ruining her meeting, and she says he just said what she's always thought anyway, adding that most of the time she wants to stand up and shout, "Get over it, freaks!" and Locke asks why she doesn't, and instead of saying, "Well, I'm not a dick," she says that she likes to keep a cork in it, because once she gets all "hot and bothered" there's no stopping her. Um, is she even talking about the meeting anymore? "Guess you won't be coming back next week ," she says regretfully. Locke figures not. "Too bad. I like bald guys," she says. "I'm not bald," Locke says, delusionally. "I can wait," fires back Katey. Nice one. Locke smiles. Katey introduces herself as Helen, and Locke does likewise (except, uh, you know, as "Locke").