Lost
Pilot, Part II

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The Second Time Is Always the Sweetest Time (For Rammin')
Back in the field, Shannon notes that polar bears don't usually live in the jungle. "Spot on," Charlie says. "Polar bears don't live near this far south," Sayid says, while in the background, Charlie guiltily stoops down to touch the bear. It feels like a rug! Kate asks Sawyer where he got the gun, and Sawyer says he got it off a U.S. Marshal whose body was lying on the beach. "I thought it might come in handy," he says. "Guess what? I just shot a bear!" He shows off the Marshal's badge as well. Sayid accuses Sawyer of being the former owner of the handcuffs, saying that Sawyer knew there was a U.S. Marshal on the plane because the Marshal was escorting him to the United States. "Fine, I'm the criminal," Sawyer yells. "You're the terrorist." Kate swipes the gun from Sawyer and, pointing it at him, asks if anyone knows how to work a gun. "I think you just pull the trigger," Charlie offers. Ha! Sayid explains how to take the gun apart, and Kate gives part of the gun to him and part of it back to Sawyer. He grabs her arm and pulls her close, whispering sweet nothings. "I know your type," he says. "I'm not so sure," she replies. Kate stalks away and gives the Thousand-Yard Stare of Impending Flashback...

And sure enough, we're back on the plane. Son of a...the flight attendant asks Kate and the man sitting next to her if they want a drink. Kate says no, and the dark-suited dude, who looks like the T-1000, says, "Just coffee, sweetheart. Black." The woman rolls her eyes at his hard-boiled bullshit. The T-1000 tells Kate not to look so worried: "There's always that off chance that they'll believe your story. I know I sure do." A steely Kate replies, "I don't care what you believe." They trade endearments like this for a while before it's revealed that Kate is wearing the handcuffs, which are threaded through a looped cord such that she can't raise her arms much higher than her chin. The plane hits that first big bump; Kate looks nervous, and the T-1000, who, it's apparent now, is a U.S. Marshal, grins the way tough guys always do, you know, because they're tough. "I have one favor to ask," Kate says, but before she can say what it is, Chaos! The T-1000 gets hit on the head with a falling suitcase. As the plane screams downwards, Kate tries to grab her oxygen mask but can't reach it; she gets the Marshal's key and unlocks her handcuffs, freeing herself to get the mask onto her face. Before the back half of the plane flies off, sending one poor unseatbelted sap out into the stratosphere, Kate also, for the record, gives the T-1000 a few quick puffs of air, which is the writers' way of telling us she was either innocent of or justified in the crime for which she's being extradited. Or, of course, SHE COULD BE A SPY! JUST LIKE SYDNEY BRISTOW!!! AND THE MARSHAL IS THE SPY HUNTER WHO CAUGHT HER AND IS BRINGING HER BACK TO AMERICA!!!!!!!! AND SHE ACTUALLY ENGINEERED THE WHOLE ENTIRE PLANE CRASH JUST AS A WAY TO ESCAPE!!!!!!!!!!!!! BECAUSE J.J. ABRAMS WOULD TOTALLY PUT YET ANOTHER HOT FEMALE SPY IN A SHOW HE CREATED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Jack's stitching up Shrapnel Guy, who suddenly wakes up, grabs Jack by the collar, and hisses, "Where is she?" Hey, it's Marshal T-1000! That was a nicely orchestrated reveal, I must say.

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Lost

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